Dating Advice for Widows: What about My Wedding Rings?

dating advice for widows

Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach,

My husband died two years ago and I still miss him every day. But, I’m starting to want male companionship again and feel ready to date. I’m 78 and want to share my life again with someone special. Last week I went out with a nice man. We had a good time at dinner. He was pleasant, easy to talk to and handsome.

He did ask about my wedding rings which surprised me to tell you the truth. I still wear my engagement diamond and wedding band. He asked me if I was really ready to date? I responded yes but wasn’t sure what that was all about.

What do you think it means?

Widow in Wilshire

 

Dear WW,

I have to admit, I want to ask you the very same question. Are you sure you are ready to move on? Have you done enough grieving and gone through all the stages of grief? The reason I ask and why your date might have asked is because you are clearly attached to those rings.  They mark you as a married woman. They symbolize that you have given your heart to another.

Now, I want to say this as carefully as I can…you know that you are no longer married to your husband because he is no longer with us on the earth plane right? So, if you continue to wear them as you do, you most definitely send the message that your heart is still taken. Which is completely fine and to be expected. And it does sound true to me about how you feel.

But that also means you probably aren’t quite ready yet. Even if you aren’t ready to give up the rings completely there are other ways. For example, you could have your engagement ring reset to wear as a right hand ring or as a pendant.

You’ll know your heart is ready and you are open to a new man when you can take off your wedding band and place it in the security of your jewelry box. No one says you have to get rid of it, but wearing your wedding set while trying to date sends mixed messages to the men you meet.

Its good that you are getting back out there to meet new people. Maybe there is an intermediary step where you just make new friends rather than dating. That takes the pressure off so you can relax and not worry about what anything means. You can simply rejuvenate your social life and get back into the swing of things.

No one can replace your husband. But when you are ready to open your heart to love again, you know that meeting the right man will enrich your life in a new way.

Wishing you love,

Ronnie

 

Photo Credit: ilovebutter

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