As a dating coach for women over 40, I believe in having fun! But, I also believe in using your head and applying sound strategies to your dating activities. That’s what will help you get the best results – finding the right man for you for a lasting loving relationship. so please understand I am not a spoil sport or trying to dampen your fun. I have only the best intentions for you with my advice.
Here are five key reasons why you want your first date to be short and sweet:
1. A short first date like coffee or a glass of wine makes it easy for you to escape should he not measure up. That’s why, if yo meet a guy online and he asks you to dinner for a first date, redirect him to something quicker. What’s worse than eating a meal with a man who is boring, insulting, uninteresting or inappropriate? Don’t do it! Keep it short.
2. A long first date can create a false sense of intimacy and sometimes leads to first-date sex. Well its not the end of the world, but it does cloud your ability to remain objective as you collect more information and learn about the man you are dating.
In addition, you never know if the guy will get an attitude about you sleeping with him so quickly – some men do still think this way. Others won’t care at all – but how you can tell after just one date which kind of guy he’ll be? That’s why its best to hold out for a while before you sleep with a guy. Never mind your emotional reaction if he never calls again or the health risks.
3. On a long first date you may “over share”. You could start telling stories about yourself best left until he gets to know and like you better. Once a man has formed an opinion of you, it’s safer to share the more private details of your life. The stories where you don’t always look your best such breakups, work stories or other things that have happened that could cast a shadow if told too soon.
Remember, people need to earn your trust before you let it “all hang out.”
4. Shorter dates cost less. This is a service to men who feel they should be the one paying for the date (hip hip hooray for these guys!) So when you have one cup of coffee or one glass of wine, the bill doesn’t add up to very much. And you don’t need to have any feelings of obligation because he spent a lot of money (which you shouldn’t have anyway, but sometimes do).
It also takes the pressure off that awkward point where he may feel pressured to ask if you are hungry. Avoid the whole thing and let him know it was fun, but you have to get going.
5. A short first date let’s you leave him wanting MORE. You want to have a little bit of mystery about you if you share everything up front – what will you talk about next time? But if you haven’t covered everything, he’ll get curious about what makes you tick and want to see you again.
This worked like a charm on my husband during our first date. It prompted him to ask when he could see me again!
Keep that first date short and hopefully it will lead to more dates. But at the very least you’ll waste less time on men who don’t ask you out again or that you’d never want to see again.