Cast a Wider Net When Dating After Divorce

Cast a Winder Net To Find Love After Divorce

Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach,

I am a woman recently divorced who is 31 years old. I’m a successful  graphic designer who has only ever dated men who I have this in common with (a very good thing about my past relationships).

All the advice I seem to be seeing online about dating after divorce is pushing towards online dating…and it’s true I don’t particularly know how or where to meet men otherwise. Except the kind of men I am into…intellectual, very talented (yet still kind and reliable, etc.) don’t really gravitate towards these sites.

I feel a bit stuck. Do you think online dating is the only way to go? I tried it when I was younger and had no success at all meeting compatible guys.

Thanks for your help!
Looking for love in Chicago

Dear Looking,

About Online Dating
Online dating has over 40 million people who subscribe and participate. I’m quite sure there are creative, intelligent men on those sites. I know one NYC ad man (he’s 54) who has found all his women this way. And I do recommend online dating to my dating coaching client

So, don’t think for one moment that your kind of guy isn’t on there – he is! Experts agree – it could take up to a year to connect with ‘the one” but you’ll meet many interesting guys along the way to finding “him”.

Others Ways to Meet Men
Of course for your age (30), I highly recommend speed dating as well. To find it in Chicago, put “speed dating + city” into Google and see what comes up near you. You might not meet the man of your dreams right away, but you’ll have wonderful opportunities to practice flirting and conversation skills and build confidence – which, by the way is VERY attractive to men and women.

Expand Who Is Your Type
On another note, I strongly recommend rethinking your type of guy. Relationships with these men have not lasted, so while you are attractive to them, they don’t look like the right guy for you.

Its time to expand your definition of who the right guy for you is. Why doesn’t he need to be a graphic designer? What ever happened to opposites attract? Only being willing to date men in your own field is extremely limiting. There are SO MANY OTHER types of intelligent men out there. What about  builders, lawyers, teachers,  quality experts, architects? There are numerous professions who utilize aspects of creativity.

The more men you meet, the better the chance of finding one you really click with. So open up your criteria and cast a wider net to find a better match and the love you want and deserve.

Photo Credit: MicheleArt

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