Can You Still Love Him When the Flowers Suck?

Let the Little Things Go to Stay Happy in Your Relationship

Can You Still Love Him?

Even though I’m The Dating Coach, I’m very human in a very human relationship.

My husband is adorable, makes me laugh, and is highly supportive. But this Valentine’s Day, all I wanted was the two bunches of colorful tulips like I get every year. It’s our tradition. I have to give Paul some credit. He did try to buy them Monday night to avoid the V-day crowds, but the store was out.

I love fresh cut flowers, arranged in a vase. A good arrangement is a magical display of color, shape, size, height, texture and fragrance. For me, February is the perfect time to enjoy tulips because they are so spring-like. Here in the Northeast part of the US, I need that in February when it can be cold and dreary.

However, instead of going to another store, my husband brought home forced tulips in a pot. I can’t tell you why but I felt totally cheated, but I did. They weren’t cut flowers. There was no vase. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day-ish to me – more like Easter. I was very disappointed and I told him so.

You can imagine how well that went over.

So, in a Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City sort of way, the question is, can you still love him when the flowers suck?

There is only one answer for me. YES.

Just like everyone else, I need to keep my eye on the big picture. Happily ever after only happens in the movies. Married or in a long-term relationship, either way takes work. Being reasonable and knowing how to compromise help a lot.

Paul is youthful, playful, sweet and so different from me which is a big part of how he enriches my life. We are 180 degrees apart. We can’t get more different because we’ll start to be more the same. Yet, we just work overall. We talk things out. We appreciate and respect each other.

So the flowers sucked. In the long run, it didn’t change a thing between us. Of course I still love him. I count my blessings daily, no kidding. He made it up to me by offering to take me out to dinner.

When you find a good man and he disappoints you, can you let it go? Say your piece and move on? Remember all the good things and why you love him? I hope so. Life and relationships offer many tests. When you can keep what’s really important in the forefront of your mind, you’ll get along better and be much happier too.

Personally, I’m still learning every day.

 

Photo Credit: Mandy_Jansen

 

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