He’s Reading Your Body Language, So Tell Him a Friendly Story about Yourself
Whether you know it or not, your body is sending signals before you utter a word. If you are single, working on your body language is a good use of your time, especially for women. Why? Because when you flirt, you are often relying on body language to convey your openness and approachability.
As humans, we naturally pick up more information and make judgements based on reading body language. So make sure yours is saying what you really want to say – telling a friendly story.
It’s really no secret that men don’t like to be rejected. Women don’t like it either! Who would? So, if you are a single woman looking for love with the right man, make it your main objective to look friendly and interested. It’s so much easier than you think!
Here are some tips from Tonya Reinman in her new book The Body Language of Dating as reported in this post by ABC news. I’ve embellished from my flirting arsenal and separated the actions into those done from a distance and those acted on close up.
From a Distance:
- Become more self-aware so you can know what signals you are sending.
- Smile more because is catching!
- Playing with your hair and primping announce “Look at me” and sends the message you are ready for some attention.
- Stand up straight and hold your head high – that’s the look of confidence.
- Maintain brief eye contact with a man, then look down and up again before looking away.
- Let your wrists and neck show- they are an erogenous zones.
- Slightly tilt your head left because men find this attractive. It also implies interest, like you are thinking about him.
- Nod when he talks so you seem engaged and show agreement
- Touch him lightly on his arm or shoulder to make a point, breaking the personal space barrier. However, don’t linger unless you want some action the same night.
- Wear natural scents like vanilla and lavender.
- Whisper something to him – it could be anything, then pull away and smile.
What to Avoid – The Don’ts:
- Crossing your arms in front of your body or standing you’re your legs crossed shows you are shut off
- Poor posture and slouched shoulders relay poor self-esteem.
- Darting your eyes around the room makes you look nervous or suspicious
- Hands in your pockets I s a classic tip off that you might be hiding something
- Touching your nose is the sign of a liar so don’t do it!
- Getting too close before you know he is interested will make him feel crowded.
While my own social research isn’t scientific, 10 years working with thousands of women has provided fabulous anecdotal evidence these flirting behaviors work! Let me share a story to prove the point.
Two of my clients, Beth and Connie, both 49 and divorced, took my flirting class and decided that night to go to a bar and try it out. These two women were both very “type a” career women who normally didn’t interact with men very much and to tell you the truth, just weren’t warm and friendly people.
They came back to class the next week exciting with girlish glee! Beth and Connie had stellar results to share. Beth has two men ask for her phone number which she claimed had never happened before in a bar or anywhere. And Connie was asked on a date for the following weekend much to her surprise.
These two were amazed, delighted and complete astonished by what a little flirting can do. But as their coach, let me share another potent secret with you…the biggest change in their behavior was that they paid attention to the men. They were friendly, open and interested. Normally Beth and Connie would have looked down their noses at any man who had the nerve to approach them while they had a glass of wine at a bar. But on this night, they looked for opportunities to connect with men. And voila – it worked.
So yes, body language is a highly effective means for meeting men. But, if you can open up to men and show some interest rather than disdain and suspicion, you’ll discover how easy it is to attract more bees with honey, so to speak.