Dear Ronnie the Dating Coach for Women over 40,
I have an interest for this guy who also works for the same company, but in a different building. He’s tall, dark and handsome, just the way I like them. The only thing is, he is really shy. We have gone for coffee and it went well, but I don’t think he is looking for the same thing I am.
I want a relationship and marriage. I don’t know what he thinks of me and I am not sure he likes me or finds me attractive. I am curvy and sometimes men don’t like that. So, my question is, how do I get to know how he feels or what he thinks without scaring him? I don’t want to chase him like I’ve done in the past with other guys. But, it seems that if I don’t initiate an email or phone call, I never hear from him.
Tired of Waiting in WA
Hi Tired of Waiting,
As a dating coach for women, I share my insights and knowledge collected from 9 years doing this work, reading everything in sight and working with thousands of people. It is from this place that I can tell you, if a man is interested, if he likes you , if he wants to date you, he will do what is necessary to make that happen.
In other words, there is really nothing you can do to find out if Mr. AtWork likes you. Truth is, there is nothing going on. If he wanted to date you, he would pursue you. It’s that simple. Yes, there are shy men, but they also know what to do. Like Greg Berhandt says in his best selling book, “He’s just not that into you.”
He is probably a nice guy, so when you text or call, he does respond. But he never takes up the initiative or starts anything on his own. This is your clear signal to move on.
Since you went for coffee with him, and he hasn’t followed up, I recommend moving on. Look to connect with other men who are more motivated to date, more interested in you, or BOTH!
There are so many great single guys out there. Build up your flirting skills, smile and be friendly. Men are everywhere and there is definitely more than one good man who will find you attractive and be a good match. Please don’t waste time on the wrong guy.
Wishing you love,