Could Your Behaviors Unknowingly Keep Men Away?
How come men approach some women and not others? Do you watch men swarm around one or two “special” women at an event and wonder what their secret is? They might be flirting and radiating feminine charm and confidence to attract men. But, what if they just aren’t doing things that push men away?
Read over this list of “Don’ts” to see if you might be doing any of these behaviors that turn men off and make you appear less attractive in the moment.
1. Don’t hang out with a group of women when you are going out to meet men.
Men are very unlikely to approach a big group of women. Even three women together can be intimidating. Men don’t like to be rejected or ridiculed, and the risk for ridicule is high when you are with other women. Think about it – men know you talk about them.
If you are going out for a night of mingling with men, and you insist on going with several girlfriends, then split up from time to time and walk around alone. This will give men a chance to approach you when you are unaccompanied by others.
2. Don’t hang out with a male friend when you are trying to meet men.
If it looks like you are with a man, other men will probably not bother approaching you. They don’t want to get into a territory war or confront another man. There are plenty of other women they can talk to, so there go your chances to meet men that night.
It might seem like hanging with your guy friend makes you look more attractive, but he’s actually getting in your way. If you want to spend time with him, go ahead and enjoy it. Just know that your friendship with him is the agenda for that night versus trying to meet new guys.
3. Don’t look unavailable or deep into what you are doing.
Sometimes you want to concentrate on surfing the net or reading a book. Nothing wrong with that. But if you are spending time at Starbucks so you can potentially meet guys, look up frequently and scan the room so you appear more approachable. men don’t want to interrupt you and get a quick rejection because you are too busy to talk with them.
4. If you are at a singles event, don’t sit down.
Once you sit down at a table, your chances of meeting men absolutely plummet. You are now out of the way and hard to get to. Once again, there are plenty of other women to approach. Don’t make gaining access to you difficult or a challenge. Stand in a high traffic area or near the dance floor so the men can pop by and chat you up.
5. Don’t go to the ladies room with a group of gals either.
Headed for the ladies room? Go alone sweetheart. That is a primo opportunity for a man to approach you and believe me, they know this. When you go with a girlfriend or a group, you have blown your chances of him even thinking about getting your attention.
Now I realize that going with the girls is a fun habit. You can whisper in the private women’s sanctuary about all the men you’ve been eyeing. So let me ask you this: Would you rather meet men or talk about them in the bathroom? Hey, you can talk about them on the way home! Don’t miss your opportunity to connect and make the most of the moment.
Here are two quick success stories about this tip:
I met (and then dated) a really hot guy as I exited the ladies room at a singles dance one time. He was number 28 of the 30 guys I dated on the way to finding and marrying my husband. I also have a client who met her boyfriend of three years the very same way.
6. Don’t wear a big cocktail ring on your left hand.
OK, maybe you think I’m being silly, but I just read about this. Some guys shy away from a woman with a ring, any ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. No kidding. Especially a big diamond ring. I know you love those diamonds, but when you go out to meet men, wear some other gems stone. And keep those rings off your wedding finger.
It’s not really such a big sacrifice is it? The things we do for fashion are great – but don’t sacrifice male attention too.
7. Don’t look away when you notice a man looking at you.
The purpose of flirting is to acknowledge a man and let him know non-verbally that you see him. He is hoping for that acknowledgment so he can possibly walk over to strike up a conversation. But, if you look away at break-neck pace, you’ve just sent him the message that you are not open, approachable or interested.
I understand – sometimes you aren’t interested. I get it. But here’s what you need to think about. It’s not only that one guy who is probably taking a quick peak at you from time to time. Other men are watching too. And when they see you being unfriendly, looking down and avoiding eye contact, your desirability index drops like a hot potato.
You’ve got to push yourself to learn to flirt and the two most basic elements are maintaining eye contact for just 2-3 seconds along with a smile when you notice a man looking at you. That’s it! And you have nothing to worry about. There is no promise in flirting. it’s just a fun spontaneous, delightful way to interact with men and let them feel good.
When you smile at a man, you make his day. He’ll feel good and then you’ll feel good. Take a shot at it, get good at it and make a man’s day so yours will be fun and memorable too.
Avoid These Mistakes to Improve Your Dating Results
If you can avoid these seven deadly mistakes that push men away, you will automatically up your stock and find more men taking the risk to meet you. I know these tips have been proven time and time again, because besides the ton of social research that’s been conducted, my clients share their success and failure stories as well.
The success stories make everyone happier, so follow these tips for your own dating success.
Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon