According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, second marriages are lasting longer today! That’s big news if you ask me. I have heard a statistic bandied about that second marriages failed at a rate or 70%. Apparently, this is not true.
The article cited many oft quoted statistics that now I discover may not be true. Apparently the divorce rated peaked in 1980 and the last time the US Census collected data on divorce was in 1996, when they estimated 50% of first marriages end in divorce. But it wasn’t based on a survey – just numerical modeling. The rate might not be that high today. In fact, when you talk to divorce attorneys, some say more couples are staying together now because of the economy.
It is true that first marriages last longer than second marriages, but it might be the result of second marriages occurring later in life. Sadly, many second marriages end with the death of a partner.
In 2008, 19% of marriages were the second marriage for at least one of the spouses, so remarriage is popular.
What can make a second marriage more successful than the first? Just as I share with my dating coaching clients who are dating after divorce, the article says people who wait a while and get to know themselves again first, have a better shot the second time around. When men and women don’t take the time to understand their mistakes, they could easily end up marrying the same type of person or on the flip side, search for the opposite which might not be a good fit either.
Experts gave advice like “Know thyself” and remember you can’t change anyone as the basis for making better choices. Sort of basic, but sound advice.
I know several couples who are on marriage #4 and are enjoying wonderful partnerships. Whether or not you get it right the second, third or fourth time around, hope is there that you can get it right! That makes all those awful dates you groan about worthwhile. The more men you meet, and the more you learn about yourself, the better the odds for a successful union.
Photo Credit: Angi Unruh