Get a New Viewpoint on Your Midlife Love Life

Get a New Viewpoint on Your Midlife Love Life

I went away this past Sunday and Monday. We didn’t have a plan beyond driving to Massachusetts. Everything started out well. We found a flea market and the weather was gorgeous. Next there was lunch in a Tibetan restaurant. Something different! So far so good.

Then the rain started. Still not so bad. We kept driving. The scenic route wasn’t so scenic in the rain. After 90-minutes I started to feel car-bound and cranky. Not even a place to stop for tea.

Hunger set in. Now I’m feeling a trapped and hungry. I was looking for a restaurant. Nada. I tried to revive myself, to be upbeat, perky and happy.

It was time to start looking for a place to stay. We passed seedy motels, driving through rural town after town. I noticed one place that looked better than the others.  I didn’t want to stay there, but made a mental note, calling it Plan B. I was craving Plan A. A nice hotel with a pool.

Finally, we gave up and turned around. I pouted. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I couldn’t let go of wanting to stay in a nice place. 

You know how it is when you have your heart set on something and it just doesn’t seem to materialize…You know what I’m talking about I’m quite sure. Like when you are going to singles events or doing online dating and want to meet a few decent guys. But, all you see are the seedy motels…

Turning the car around, we didn’t get too far when I noticed a sign I hadn’t seen going past it the first time. “Orchards”. What a nice sign – pull in, pull in! This place was light years from the Plan B motel. I felt nervous – they might not have any rooms or worse, it might be too expensive.

I walked into the hotel and up to the front desk. Nancy was behind the counter and she smiled when I asked, “Do you have any rooms and…how much?” Nancy said, “Well we have a room on the courtyard for $525 and then we have our standard rooms.” Gulp. That was me gulping. Then she said, “Why don’t I give you the courtyard room for the standard rate tonight? It’s just $160.”  I ran out like a wild woman yelling, “Park the car!”

The first day of this outing was up and down. And just when I felt at my worst, I looked at things from a new angle by turning the car around. Shifting direction can change your situation. That’s when I discovered EXACTLY what I wanted!

Are you stuck at what feels like a dead end in your love life? Maybe you don’t like the road you’re traveling. Turn around!  If you are dating over 40 or dating after divorce, I’m asking , what new angles on your search can you discover? How might you look at your love life and options with new eyes to find exactly what you’ve been looking for? Or notice men you hadn’t even considered before.

As a dating coach for women over 40, I often tell my clients that perspective is EVERYTHING. It completely colors your life experience and what you can attract into your world. When you can shift directions and get a fresh view of the same old thing, you have a chance to notice what might have been available but you couldn’t see it.

Just when you feel like giving up, sometimes that’s the exact moment everything changes. If you’re at that point, hold out a little longer. Don’t give up! The right man for you might be just around the corner. Try changing directions or looking from a new vantage point to discover if in fact, the man you ‘ve been seeking turns up unexpectedly.


Photo credit: Kulp

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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