Online Dating Advice
Last week, the big topic was online dating rejection. Many of my dating coaching clients feel very angry and frustrated by their experiences online. They are confused and tired of being rejected senselessly. Women want to know why men:
- Don’t respond to their emails
- Ask for your number, but don’t call
- Suddenly stop emailing
- Give their phone number in the first email
- Send “cut and paste” emails, etc.
My clients are also angry that the wrong men write to them. Why can’t “they” read? Don’t they see that they don’t fit your criteria or match what you wrote in the profile?
Granted, I’m not a man. But I can still provide you with some insight into why men do some of these frustrating things and why you should not take it personally.
Think for a minute about your own online dating efforts. Do you answer every email? How quickly do you respond? Have you ever simply stopped emailing with a guy? Given out the wrong phone number? Given your phone number and then not answered the phone or returned his call? If you’re a woman dating online, I guarantee you’ve done at least one of these things.
Online Dating Advice about Rejection
The purpose of dating is to sort through prospects to determine who might be a good match. You know this. So, when you don’t respond to someone, you have reasons right?
- Maybe you aren’t sure about the guy
- You changed your mind
- You learned more about him and have crossed him off the list
- You waffling and aren’t sure you’re ready to meet men online
- You got distracted by what you thought was a better man
Men do the same thing and truth be told, they have the same right to rethink things don’t they? Of course they do. That is why it’s so important to stop taking this type of rejection personally.
Dating online is not always fast and easy. Sometimes it takes work and consistent effort. When you get angry and aggravated by these slights at the beginning of the meeting process, you drain your energy and make it hard to stay positive. Yet, staying positive will keep you active and make you more attractive.
Online Dating Advice: Positive Self-Talk Makes a Big Difference
Here are some positive self-talk suggestions that I share with my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce:
1. If you find yourself feeling badly about a guy who got away, remember to say to yourself, “Next!” There are so many men out there so start thinking with anticipation about the next great guy you will meet.
2. “He doesn’t know what’s good, so it’s his loss.” These words are also true. You are a fabulous woman and there are many men out there who would feel darn lucky to be with you.
3. “Thank you for opting out.” When a man disappears quickly, you can usually thank your lucky starts that he did. When a man opts out from dating you, he knows that you weren’t a good match and this actually serves you. Even if you can’t see why the match wouldn’t be good, it is the truth of the situation or he would never have disappeared.
These three potent strategies will help you manage your energy, expectations and outlook. That’s my online dating advice for you. Put it to work right away so you can minimize the rejection you feel and stay fresh, positive and open to meet the right man who is looking for you even as you read this post.