Are you a successful career woman?
Do you have a high-paying powerful job?
Are you a chick in charge?
Do you have an independent streak that runs deep?
If you answered “Yes” to any of the above four questions, congratulations on your success in life and business! That is great to have competed with men, gotten a top paying job, and to be in such a powerful position.
Now, have you been trying to meet men by using these same, well-honed skills that work for you in every other aspect of your life? Oh- oh. That’s a problem. These skills don’t translate well to your love life.
You see, the vast majority of men don’t like to be in romantic relationship with the same women they compete with at work. Competition and romance clash and require a different set of behaviors. A lot of women who I meet as a dating coach don’t like to hear this. They rather believe that the way they go about dating and looking for guys is perfectly fine, even if it hasn’t worked well yet.
Powerful men want a feminine woman for several reasons. First of all, a feminine woman makes him feel more masculine. This type of man often wants to take of a woman. Your staunch independence may suit you well, but it will not be a turn on for him. Not that you need to be helpless or a doormat, but you have to be able and willing to give a man opportunities to feel needed.
So if you are a successful career woman, what can you do to shift gears and get your femininity going for you?
Dr. Pat Allen is well known for her male/female communication work called “Androgynous Semantic Realignment”. She tells her clients to take 30-60 minutes at the end of their day to turn off their business masculine side. Ways to accomplish this include sitting by the beach, feeding the birds, exercise, shopping, pampering and shutting off your cellphone. Once you have decompressed, then you can go out to look for guys or spend time with your man.
She even suggests setting up a system with your man not to call during the day so he doesn’t get exposed to (or turned off by) your masculine brief and directive communication style. Her book, Getting To I Do, she claims is hated by most business women. But once they get serious about finding a husband, they reconsider and pick it up again.
Do you decompress before you go on a date or spend time with your man?
Do you greet your man with a smile?
Or do you dump all your frustration from the day on him?
I highly recommend finding a way to decompress and reconnect with your feminine side. The part of you who is warm, inviting, caring, sweet, friendly, soothing, flirty, positive and fun. Since you were born a girl – leverage that advantage.
You can be as equal as you want all day long at work, but for romance to blossom and stay strong, don’t compete with your man. Don’t use your masculine energy with him. Be a woman. Rely on your feminine side. That’s what men are attracted to – because this brings balance their energy and their world.
Take a lesson from Dr. Pat. Put your alpha side away when you want romance and see how well that can work for you!