Dating Over 40: Anger, Fear, and Stress are not Attractive

Every where I go  or even in the emails I get, people seem angry. Not all people, but more than I used to notice. Have you noticed this too? Have you been feeling this way?

There’s a lot going on in the world and in the USA that might make you angry. Politics for one, is highly polarizing now.  The anger spewed by talk radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh. The state of the economy, unemployment and underemployment. Your ability (and mine) to save for retirement. So much is happening in the country, people feel things are unstable and feels very unsettling.

Then there is world politics with the Middle East, Pakistan, China and North Korea. Plus, the global weather catastrophes like earthquakes, tsunamis, typhoons, floods, tornadoes…There is so much upheaval and uncertainty around the globe. No wonder why people are angry! Some of this is just fear. Some of it is simple stress.

You may be thinking, “Ronnie, Why does this matter to me or with dating?” For one thing, anger, fear and stress are, you guessed it, not very attractive. Oh oh, that’s where the problem starts and why all this really does matter to your love life and chances of find the right man for you.

But don’t worry, if you feel this way, there are things you can do to feel better. Here’s are four powerful tips I share with my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce:

1. Watch less new because less is more time you aren’t getting sucked into the negativity and hype. Today, the news channels sensationalized their reports because they need the ratings. This is also why so much news is about celebrities. The media companies know our desire for the insider scoop  and feed that craving for their ratings, making the news  more like “Newstainment”.  So, overall, this suggestion is to spend less time with the news.

2. Remind yourself that right now, for you, everything is OK. This is important if you start to feel anxious about everything that’s happening.  Do your best to keep everything in perspective. Sometimes people take in the crisis and start to react like its happening to you. Empathy is a wonderful emotion until it keeps you from living your own life.

3. Do something to de-stress on a regular basis. That could include exercise, bubble baths, watching a funny movie or sitcom, having a glass of wine, calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a long time, doing something creative like painting or playing music, listening to music, reading a light-hearted novel, get a massage, take a yoga or meditation class, etc.

Many people are so frenzied they have forgotten how to relax. Or they don’t take the time because they rather cross one more thing off the list. Instead, put yourself on that list and take good care of yourself. You deserve it! And you’ll be refreshed to be more productive later and have more energy to help others as well. And you’ll be so much more attractive!

4. This is a good time to smile more. Smile for your own enjoyment. Smile to be friendly to others. Smile to brighten some else’s day – which will also brighten yours. Its been scientifically proven that laughter and love are both amazingly healing.  Share your smile to automatically reduce your stress and make yourself far more approachable.

When you work with a dating coach, it can impact several areas of your life. If you are looking for love and partnership with the right man, then de-stress and minimize your anger to be the most attractive person you can be. You’ll feel a  whole lot better  as well.

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