Dating Over 40: How the Dating Journey Is Like Redesigning a Website

My new website design is public! Yeah!

I’ve only been working on this since November. It’s taken a lot of planning, design work, thinking and rethinking, redesigning, researching, hand holding, and cajoling. Maybe a little blood, sweat, and tears. Yes, I put my heart and soul into my website over the last six months. And its’ still not done. Don’t poke around too much or you’ll find all those little things that still need work and fixing.

The journey had a lot of twists and turns. Sort of like dating.

First, I had an idea of what I wanted.
My designer put it together and my first reaction was, “Yuck! I don’t want that!” Literally, back to the drawing board. How can that happen? I thought I was so clear about what I had in mind. How disappointing that didn’t work out. Sort of like dating.

Then I realized I needed something else. 
I needed branding work. So, I went to a new designer to work on my branding. She showed me lots of options. I didn’t like any of them. They were OK, but boring and lacking excitement. Sort of like dating, when none of the men seem to interest you.

I tried to get advice from friends.
My friends shared their opinions freely. “But those designs are pretty! I like this one or that one.” My friends couldn’t help me. They don’t know that much about branding even though they tried. Sort of like asking your friends about  dating. They might say, “But he’s so cute.” Or give poor advice like, “So what if he hasn’t called you for three weeks, he’ll come around.” Or worse yet, “Stop looking so hard. You’ll meet him when you least expect it.”

Then I asked a professional.
Finally I asked a friend who is a Chief Marketing Officer at a Fortune 500 company. How lucky was I to have access to her professional marketing brain! She took one look at the designs and knew immediately what the problem was. And she was so right!

She sent me off in a completely new direction that helped me get here today. Sort of like working with a professional dating coach who can clear up dating mysteries and confusion. Plus, talk about situations objectively and with lots of insider knowledge.

But I still have to do the work.
I have to update and correct the copy and links. I have to direct the webmaster on the finishing details. Sort of like dating. You still have to get out there and meet men, then weed through and test drive your options. You have to look your best, smile and be friendly, and let a man know you appreciate his efforts to please you when he does.

It takes work and follow through.
Whether you are creating a new web design or looking for love, it takes work and follow through. It’s not always easy. Sometimes you have to repeat the same steps, do things over, mess up, feel disappointed, and start again. And it might not come together exactly as you planned or on your schedule.

Success takes time, plus trial and error.
Whatever your goal, whether you are working on your web design, building a business, losing weight, going to school, or looking for love, success takes time, trial and error, being open-minded enough to shift gears when needed and perseverance.

Dating is no different than achieving any other goal in your life.
If you really want to find the love you’ve been yearning for, dig in and get moving. Try something new to meet more people. Be open-minded to really find out what will work for you  rather than only what you think you want. Ask a professional dating coach for help to discover the strategies that will actually make a difference on your journey. And keep at it!

Yes , I wore a black wedding dress!

Today is my anniversary.
I found love over 40 and that’s why I know for sure you can do it too! I’ve been married for 11 years today and the memory of my wedding still brings tears to my eyes. Because I wanted this so much! I found a wonderful guy who makes me laugh, snuggles masterfully, is very supportive and pretty cute. I am lucky. But, I worked hard for it and it was worth every single miserable step. Just like my new website.

Tonight, I’ll also toast each one of you.
When Paul and I make a toast tonight, I’ll also make a toast to each one of you, raising my glass to the time when you find the love you want and deserve. I’ll do this with certainty because I know if you really want it and do what is required, YOU WILL FIND LOVE.  I’ll celebrate for you tonight, on your behalf, for the love that might be just around the corner.

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