Dating after Divorce: How Do I Handle Things When He Cancels?

My friend and fellow dating blogger, Terry Hernon MacDonald wrote an article about when a man cancels. I liked it so much, I want to share her thoughts with you now and add a few of my own.

When you first start dating a new guy, its a very exciting time. You may find yourself thinking of him dreamily. This is the fun part, when you aren’t sure what is going to happen, but you visualize happy possibilities.

You’ve had your first or second date, and are looking forward to more, when it happens – your dates sends a text message or calls saying that he has to cancel. Something came up. His child is sick. He has to work late, etc. You get the picture and I bet you can even tune into the feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Many of my dating coaching clients tell me their mind starts to churn. What does this mean? Is he changing his mind about me? Did I do anything wrong? Did he find someone better? You call a girlfriend to ask for advice. What should you do? How should you think about this? What has her experience been when this happened to her?

You may feel panic, sadness, disappointment, nervous, or confused. There are so many emotional responses to a canceled date.  But, is there a better way to handle your emotions? Terry and I as your dating coach say YES!

Terry retold a story about a good friend who was dating after divorce and trying the Internet to find love again. She had a relationship that lasted a few months, but was on the market. Gigi had recently met a new man of merit and they had a couple of dates. She was scheduled to see him again for Saturday night.

Gigi was painting a room in her house during the day, happily anticipating her evening date. Once  it was time to clean up, she took a shower and started to think about what she didn’t like about her body. Thankfully, she got a grip on her inner negative chatter and chose instead to focus on the parts of herself she is pleased with. Excellent self-coaching!

As I recommend to all my dating coaching clients, she put on one of her favorite dating outfits and some earrings. Then the phone rang with her guy cancelling their evening. She called Terry to say she was disappointed. But here’s the really interesting part:

Gigi told Terry she was going to make a good night for herself anyway. She poured a glass of wine and started discussing what she should make herself for dinner. Ahi tuna or crabcakes? Gigi decided to have a date with herself rather than wallow in her disappointment over a cancelled date. How amazingly empowering!

 As Terry puts it, “Everybody who dates faces disappointment sometimes. Not just Gigi and not just you. If some charming, funny guy cancels on you, do your best to roll with it.”  If you don’t make a big deal out it, it won’t be a big deal. When you treat yourself like a treasure yet to be discovered, you build self-esteem, confidence and affirm the belief that you will meet the right man for you.

 Terry’s friend is a treasure yet to be discovered. Some lucky guy will see that and treat her accordingly. We both wish the very same for you. So in the mean time, take good care of yourself and treat yourself well on your dating journey.

 To learn more about Terry, her fabulous ebook, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams, and audio program, click here   Her ebook is a quick read and very effective. Use her techniques and attract the love you want.

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