As a dating coach for women dating over 40 or dating after divorce, I am saddened by how many women have given up on love. It’s so prevalent that most people think this is normal and OK. I’m going to take a dramatic stand here for all women who have given up and say – It’s NOT OK. The desire for love is a basic human instinct.
Who am I to say such a thing? Just a humble dating coach, cheering for you and doing my best to spread hope and inspire you do get what you want in life. That is a coach’s job. That’s my reason for being. I sort of have to do this. But I do this work and am here for you because its such a thrill for me when a woman, who had previously denied herself love or was frustrated and angry about love, finds LOVE!
It’s not OK to give up if you hold a desire for love deep down, but have suppressed it to the point of thinking you don’t care any more. If there is a little piece of you that does care, you are denying that part of yourself.
How do you know you have given up? You don’t take care of yourself. This can take many forms including:
- Not eating well
- Not exercising
- Not getting your hair done
- Not buying any new clothes or taking care of the ones you have
- Doing errands in your sweat pants, hoping no one sees you
- Not wearing any makeup at all, not even tinted Burt’s Bees lip balm
- Not speaking well of men
- Not speaking well of yourself
- Not doing anything new to keep you excited about life
- Feeling tired all the time
- Not taking any time to rejuvenate
- Having nothing to look forward to
Take a moment to see if any of these sound like you…When you read these statements, do they feel the way you feel?
My heart goes out to you. This is not easy stuff to look at, hear or feel. Sometimes when women have given up on love, they have given up on themselves as well.
But I have a recommendation to help you shift your energy. Start with self-love. That’s right, SELF-LOVE. When you love yourself, you take care of yourself. You present yourself well. You know you are deserving. You take time out to do something you want to do. Maybe you get massage, your nails done or just relax in a bubble bath. YOU get together with girlfriends or decide to find some new ones.
Whether you have children, pets or elder family who depend on you, or you are on your own, the same recommendation applies. Every woman deserves self love (and external love too) and the basics of proper self care. And I can absolutely guarantee one thing:
If you take time to take care of yourself, you WILL feel better.
And as a result, others will treat you differently. Its true. Because when you respect and honor yourself, when you love yourself, others can see it. This comes across non-verbally as self-esteem and maybe even confidence. People can sense it and respond to it. People respect people who respect themselves. And people whose hearts are full of love are more loved, even if its not romantic love. But romantic love is often the very next step.
As yoru dating coach, I’m asking you not to give up on love. And don’t give up on you! I’m not giving up! Whether or not I’ve met you, I believe in you. Believe in yourself and take care of yourself. And love yourself too. All love starts with self love. Take just one step today and do something nice for the one person in your life who is the most important – YOU!
Photo Credit Marie-ll