Dating Over 40: All You Need Is Love – The Beatles Had it Right

All You Need Is Self- Love

This is a strange story but I hope you still with me because the end, at least for me, is inspiring.

I am reading Calling in the Oneby Katherine Woodward Thomas. Just finished chapter 5 and so far I really like it. When I started on my own path to find love, the first thing I had to do was get my own loving energy moving. I knew I had loving energy. Everyone has it. Sometimes it lies dormant, but that doesn’t mean it’s not available to you.

This was the most crucial step on my journey to find love. Discovering your own loving energy and that you already have love in your life is the biggest ah-ha moment for single women. Life changing, that’s the value of this stunning realization.

Today, like everyone else, I have challenges in my life. While I found a loving husband, that doesn’t make my life perfect or wonderful all the time. In the past few years I’ve encountered many disappointments, lost friendships, split up with business partners, etc. These sad situations have left their mark on me.

As a dating coach, I know all life is like dating. In business, I meet potential partners and referral sources all the time. Some work out, many don’t. Friendships also tend to change. People come into your life for a while, but then over time they move on. Not always, but it does happen.

What does this mean? In the past few days I realized that I piled up the disappointments and told myself stories about what it means. Then I label myself to match these stories. But is this stuff I made up true? Is it possible the stories don’t add up but are separate occurrences that just happened as part of my life lessons?

As I started reading Calling in the One, Katherine has readers start with self love. This is exactly what I stress in my book and workshops as well. How much you love yourself is reflected back in many ways – like how you honor yourself, care for yourself, talk to yourself. Do you love yourself?

Turns out that as I have been telling myself sad stories about what has transpired in my life,  over time, my heart has started to shut down again. This was a surprise to me but I could feel the truth of it with strong certainty.

I closed the book, and spent some time doing the author’s exercises. That felt good. I honored myself and got back in touch with self love. Step one, again.

Next I put on my exercise clothes and turned on the TV. For 30-minutes I watched the tail end of the movie “Where the Wild Things Are”, a story I don’t know but have heard about. From the little I saw it was about love, family, expressing emotions, etc. How intriguing this is what I happened to be watching…

My mind shifted in and out of watching the show as I mulled over the thoughts about self love, my life, my clients, and dating. As the 30-minutes came to an end (my favorite part of exercise) the show also came to an end. The Beatles’ song came to mind, “All You Need Is Love” .

As the credits to the movie rolled, a song came on, repeating these words over and over. “All is love, all is love, all is love…” How synchronistic! How magical! How true!

For today I will love myself and feel good about who I am. I will be grateful for my loving husband, for the people in my life, for my home, my work, my family, friends and colleagues, my clients, my health, my blog readers, etc.

To my dating coaching friends out there who are dating over 40 and dating after divorce, my hope is that you too will feel inspired and dedicate this day, February 28, 2011 to loving yourself. Love is all there is.

Listen to the Beatles’ song here            Photo credit: Oddstock



4 responses on “Dating Over 40: All You Need Is Love – The Beatles Had it Right

  1. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Thanks for your nice comment Jacqueline. I’m glad I could help clarify. Things are so much easier when you understand what’s happening behind the scenes right?

  2. Jacqueline

    Dear Ronnie,
    Thanks for the edifying insight. I chanced upon your website because I’m dating a guy who has very similar traits to that of my Ex husband.. Hmmm.. eerie to say the least. I have read your article on being too nice and that describes me to a T ! Sub-consciously, I was looking for answers to my recurring issues and I am glad I found your website. It has provided much clarity.. Yes ! All we need is LOVE !

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