The next question from the 90 Day Challenge is another excellent topic to explore.
3. Why Can I Network But Feel Intimidated by Singles Events?
Many women in business feel very comfortable networking at chamber events or various functions designed for mingling. Yet, when it comes to meeting people for social reasons and dating, they lose their confidence and ability to feel at ease.
Why does this happen?
For some reason, women who experience this feel comfortable in the business setting. They are confident about how they present themselves and how others will see them. Perhaps they have achieved a degree of success that helps them work a room with certainty. Perhaps they have enough friends at these events that help them to feel safe.
but on the dating scene, all bets are off. maybe they don’t have any single girlfriends to go with. They fear being rejected and are not on the same solid ground regarding how they’ll be perceived. It’s understandable.
The skills you use should be the same, but they are not. There’s one big exception: Feminine Charm
This can be a tough topic when I’m working with my women dating coaching clients. You’ll need to rely more on your feminine energy than your masculine energy. Traditionally business is all about using masculine energy to get things done and make things happen. In today’s world, women have adapted and adopted these skills. You mastered them so well, that you may have forgetten how to turn it off and turn on your feminine charm.
But oh, this is so intrinsically vital to your dating success.
Femininity isn’t about being a door mat, dumbing yourself down, or being less than a man. Instead its about being inviting, welcoming, warm and friendly. Women who are good at interacting with men, know how to make a man feel good – and this is crucial, because men choose women who make them feel good!
The Masculine Angle: Hand him a card with your phone number and get the meeting.
The Feminine Angle: Smile and hold his gaze briefly, so he’ll know you’re approachable.
Then he’ll come talk to you and if you like him, you’ll laugh at his jokes, touch his arm lightly and quickly, compliment him about something and create a desire within him so he WANTS TO KNOW MORE. These actions demonstrate your warmth and are perceived as inviting and charming.
I’ve written loads of posts about feminine charm and feminine energy because this is what separates successful daters from those who stand against the wall and wonder. Here are a couple of my favorites:
Once you get some practice in, you’ll catch on and find that not only is it easier than you thought, but its fun too! Flirting is a spontaneous, creative, playful way to interact with people. There’s no agenda – you are just flirting and being friendly with feminine flair. It’s truly using your divine feminine power and is something men cannot do (Well maybe Gay men can). Flirting, when done well, creates a magnet that men find hard to resist. Its the best way to improve your desirability.
Here’s what I share with my dating coaching clients who are dating over 40 or dating after divorce: To capture male attention, don’t go head to head, using your masculine energy. Men don’t want to compete with you. Instead, leverage your divine birth right and feminine charm and flirt with them! It’s fun and it works – like a CHARM. Try it and then watch how your dating results change over night.
Phot Credit: Thai Yin