Dating After Divorce: How Do I Handle My Man-Bashing Girlfriends?

Try to Avoid Man Bashing

Here’s another great question from the 90 Challenge Group Dating Coaching program that started on Monday night.

You are single again or maybe you’ve never been married. You have some single girlfriends which is very important for support and getting out to have fun. But what happens when those friends are bonded together through one of their favorite topics which is negative?

Question #2 is How Do I Handle My Man-Bashing Girlfriends?

This is a problem for several reasons:

  1. You need positive influences in your life. Maintaining a positive outlook is crucial to support every area in your life.  Exposure to negativity might bring you down.
  2. You need girlfriends who can support and encourage you to achieve your goals. But when women are man bashers, they are likely to tell you not to bother and discourage you from taking the necessary action steps.
  3. You need to believe finding love is possible and women who man-bash hold a belief system that is contrary to what you need to find love.
  4. Man-Bashers really enjoy ranking on men. They laugh and derive pleasure from the activity, even though they have actually been hurt by men and wish they understood why these things have to happen. They don’t even consider that they played a part in what happened and take no responsibility at all. However, shifting your relationship status requires taking responsibility for your thoughts, beliefs and actions.

Let’s talk about Sex and the City. This entire show is based on women’s newly found disdain for men. While they love men  and seek relationships, they don’t have great respect for men. This TV program perfectly identifies a social phenomenon that came out of the 90’s – a lack of respect for men. And expectations that men should be as good as women are. Good meaning – the SAME.

While women have achieved high levels of equality with men today, no matter how equal we get, we will never be “THE SAME.” We have different genes, brain waves, thought patterns, upbringing, etc. We will actually never be the same. Yet we hold men to standards that they can never live up to.

To find a healthy, loving relationship, you need to like men, appreciate men, and respect men. Sort of simple and obvious when you think about it.

So how do you handle your man-bashing girlfriends? I advise my dating coaching clients that you might need to see less of them. I’m not going to tell you to abandon your friends, that would be extreme and silly. But, if you want to find love and are ready to get out there, meeting new girlfriends who are on the same path could be a blessing.


Photo Credit: Eckes Bernds

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