Dating Over 40: How to Keep a Man

I’ve been reading a lot lately about men who cheat and how to prevent this. I’m not sure what I think about this topic. If a man is the  cheating type, can you really change him? I find that hard to believe.

But, here’s something I do think you can influence. If he feels neglected, unappreciated, or like a second class citizen of your family, that’s something you can change. Because his feelings are likely a reaction to how you are treating him. This is a completely different scenario than a man with a wandering eye who is often captivated by newness, the chase and conquest.

Since you can only be responsible for your own behavior and do need to recognize how your actions affect your partner, let’s go over a few steps you can take to keep your man.

 Tips to keep your man happy and home

1. Take Care of #1 – That’s YOU Babe.
Keep up with your hair, sense of style, health and fitness. Put on some makeup. You don’t have to be dolled up every minute, but looking your best is a smart strategy no matter what. Attraction remains important through out the life of a relationship, so do NOT  let yourself go. When you take care of yourself, you feed your self-esteem which is the foundation of attraction between the sexes. Confidence matters at any age or life stage.

2. Schedule a Date Night
Keep the romance alive with date night. If not once a week, at least every other week. Get a baby sitter so you are free to go out. This will allow you to  feed the fire andkeep his desire. Date night doesn’have to be fancy or expensive. The point is to spend quality time together and reconnect. Staying connected through all of life’s distractions can be challenging. Date night will make a tremendous difference to help you get there and stay there.

3. Praise vs. Nag
You’ve got to give him some positive feedback. Everyone craves acknowledgment, especially men. If everything out of your mouth is a  complaint about what he didn’t do, that will run a man down. Face it, that would drain your energy  and make you unhappy too.

When you complain constantly and nag him to get things done, he feels unappreciated. This leads to that dreaded phrase, “My wife doesn’t understand me.”  If you allow this to happen, he may in fact decide to get his emotional/physical needs taken care of else where.

On the other hand, when it comes to mind, tell him what a good job he did on a project. Thank him for taking care of something. Tell him how much you appreciate him. Let him know he still matters to you and adds to your happiness. Even if he didnt’ finish that list, find something to praise him for and he may feel more motivated to finish that list. At the very least, he’ll know that what he does do, hasn’t gone unnoticed.

4. Make Him Feel Like #1.
Many mom’s put their children first and this is often appropriate. Your children are incredibly important parts of your life. But, so is your man. If you continuously put your kids before your man, it will likely take its toll on your relationship.

Why you ask? Because your man, traditionally wants to feel like he’s king of the castle.  The kind gets his way and is in charge. And his subjects love him unconditionally. Now, I know you are an independent woman and can do everything yourself, but a man actually needs to feel needed. Not burdened, but needed and appreciated.

Yup, its true. That’s why your job in the relationship is to find a way to make him feel special at least once in a while. And small things count! Put a note in with his lunch, send him a cute text, make or buy his favorite meal, buy his favorite flavor ice cream even if you and the kids prefer another.

When you make a man feel good about himself, you boost his fragile ego. You just can’t go wrong because men tend to pick women who serve this very function in the first place! He probably picked you in the first place because you made him feel good. So don’t stop now!

As modern women, we are often stretched to the max with all we need to do. But find a way to try any of these four tips to keep your man from happy – and home!



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