Dear Ronnie – The Dating Coach
I recently met a man, 58, divorced for about 8 years now. He has grown children in their 20’s. I’m interested BUT… in conversation, he made a statement that 26 years of marriage was “enough” for him.
I really like this man – his sense of humor, intelligence, kindness – he has many great qualities. I am 52 and I definitely want to “remarry” again. Do I need to rule him out now? Or should I give this time to see what develops as we get to know each other?
Thanks for your help,
Leslie in Long Island
While this might be hard to hear, I am a firm believer in listening to what a man has to say and believing him. When a man tells you that he’s had enough of marriage, the best thing you can do is take him at his word. After all – he has told you directly how he feels.
Most women don’t of course. Many of my over 40 dating coaching clients have felt this way. They think, “Well, he can’t mean that about ME. Once we fall in love, he’ll come around. He’ll WANT to marry ME.” But what they have found is that the man really meant what he said and suffered disappointment as a result.
While it’s true, anything is possible, this doesn’t seem like a good risk from this dating coach’s perspective. I’m so sorry to tell you that.
I would advise you, as I have many other dating coaching clients who are dating after 40 or after divorce, to believe him and move on to find a man who wants what you want. So many hearts have been broken when women don’t believe what a man tells them. At least he has been upfront and honest with you.
There are more great men out there in the world and a good one, the right one for you. Please look for one who wants what you want.
Wishisng you love,
Ronnie – The Dating Coach