Dating Over 40: How to Make the Most of a Singles Dance

Make the most of singles dances

I bet you ‘ve been to a singles dance or two and thought it was just horrible. When I was dating, I go  every six months. It was always a drama scene. First I had to pick out the right outfit, I’d try everything on in my closet, finally settle on something, but already felt like I’d been through the emotional wringer.

Then I’d go to meet a bunch of girlfriends at the dance.  We’d stand towards the back or near the wall in a group, surveying the men. Rarely did we see someone we felt was worth even thinking about. No one would get asked to dance and we’d end the night pledging to never go again.

Sound familiar? Well this is not the way to meet people at a singles dance!

If you are serious about meeting new men, here is exactly how to do it. Follow these 5 steps that I share with my dating coaching clients and I guarantee you will be asked to dance. When I got serious and followed these steps, I would sometimes dance all night with different men!

1. Wear something that makes you feel sexy and beautiful
If you can’t think of anything in your closet like that , go shopping today. Dating after divorce can be hard, so this is a step to shore up your confidence. Once you know you have a couple of the right outfits, you’ll never go through that emotionally draining try-on-everything scenario which is worth avoiding to keep your energy upbeat  and happy.

2. Get into the right mind-set
It’s just one night. It’s just one dance. Take the pressure off. What I suggest to my dating coaching clients is to decide  to meet new people, not Mr. Right. This way, you are free to meet a lot more people without worrying if each man is the perfect guy. Meeting lots of new people, even women is the recipe for finding love today.

3. Go with friends, but don’t  hang with them all night
Of course you can go with friends, but don’t cling to each other all night! Walk around alone for a while to make it easy for men to  meet you. Go to the bar and get a drink on your own. Walk to the ladies room by yourself. Men don’t like walking up to a bunch of women to ask one to dance. That’s the surest way to not meet anyone. So hang out with yoru friends, then separate and go it alone  throughout the evening.

4. Position yourself for success
Stand at the edge of the dance floor, smile tap your foot and look ready to go. This will show men that you are ready for a partner and to dance. I tell my dating coaching clients – Make it easy for men by demonstrating your interest in getting out there.

5. Be friendly and say “Yes”
The best way to dance with lots of different men is to say “Yes” to as many as you can. My dating coaching clients are surprised how well this works. Why? Because other men are watching to see how you reject their peers! Are you mean? Do you turn away everyone? Do you seem nice and open to dancing? What messages are you sending?

You can have some criteria of course. Mine was I’d dance with any man who didn’t smell or have bad teeth. And, I didn’t dance to slow dances. If a guy asked, I’d tell him to come back and ask again when the music was more upbeat.

Of the 30 men I dated, three came from singles dances. If you are dating over 40 or dating after divorce, why not add it to your action plan to see who you might meet? Follow this 5-step plan and dance the night away!



One response on “Dating Over 40: How to Make the Most of a Singles Dance

  1. Helen

    Thanks for this advice. I’ve been asked to go to plenty of dances in my small rural town by my female friends who know I’m looking for love, but I can’t even bring myself to go.

    I feel as if everyone will ‘know’ that I’m looking for company, that they’ll either feel sorry for me for still being on my own, or they’ll think I’m desperate.

    Dating feels like such a meat market – I didn’t ask to be left on my own and I know I’m not particularly attractive, and I just hate how much I feel objectified and rejected by the whole concept. I get overwhelmed by all the feelings of failure that well up in my head, and I don’t go, or I refuse at the last minute.

    Any tips? I feel like Cinderella, only one who is way too shy to go to the ball.

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