If you came out of a bad divorce or break up, you probably have some left over anger to deal with regarding your ex that may spread to all future men. Hey, it happens. It’s normal. But it might not be very good for attracting a new, healthy, loving relationship.
No problem. This is the kind of thing I work on with my dating coaching clients all the time. When you decide to become a coaching client, we will identify whatever may be getting in your way and work to resolve it. Everything is completely customized because every client has her own individual life experience.
When you come out of a bad situation, you’ll need to do some healing. That’s a simple fact and it takes time. Once you’ve taken steps to do this, you are ready to get back out there. What should your next step be? Determine how you want to be treated!
But maybe you aren’t sure what you want or what is possible? Well, you can start with what you don’t want. Dating after divorce, that’s probably pretty easy to come up with right? Take a moment to review the way you were treated and write down a few things that you never want to experience again.
I never want to be:
– lied to
– cheated on
– yelled at
– taken for granted
– left in the dark
– kept waiting
What’s the #1 way to avoid any or all of these inexcusable ways of being treated? Start with honoring and valuing yourself. When you honor yourself, you won’t permit this behavior to happen more than once or the rare occasion when it was unavoidable.
How do you do this? Establish firm boundaries. When someone is late, rude, neglectful, let them know you don’t appreciate that behavior. If it happens again, think hard. If it happens a third time, WALK AWAY.
There are plenty more fish in the sea, so don’t get stuck with a man who won’t treat you right from the get go. Men are on their best behavior for the first three dates. It doesn’t get better than that. BUT IT WILL GET WORSE. I guarantee it
When you draw that line in the proverbial sand, you are making a statement to the Universe and yourself.
“I won’t take that any more. That behavior will no longer be tolerated.
I love myself too much. I honor myself to be held in high-esteem and
be treated well.”
You deserve to be treated with care, consideration and kindness. Value yourself and others will value you too.
Whether or not you decide to become my dating coaching client now, you have a shot at finding a man who loves and respects you. Regardless of your romantic history, regardless of a spotty past, you deserve to be treated well. Treated the way you would treat someone you love.
To find true love again after divorce or break up, start by honoring yourself and knowing how you want to be treated. Then, don’t put up with anything that interferes with your self-esteem in any way. You can do it. And it’s worth every drop of energy you invest into this healing process.