Some of my dating coaching clients think dating is totally annoying.
They don”t like:
-the men they meet
-to play games
-wasting time meeting people
Do you feel this way too? Can you related to this? If you said “Yes,” I’m not surprised. I hear these feelings expressed all the time in my dating coaching practice.
Let me tell you why this is a problem of tremendous proportions.
If you find the entire dating process annoying, then it has no intrinsic value. So you won’t feel like doing it. You might think that it’s all a big waste of time and not important. If you could just meet the right man and get it all over with, that would be so much better!
Boiling it down to the essence: You have a negative attitude before you even meet anyone. Starting off negative is guaranteed to produce… more negativity which is not very attractive based on the Law of Attraction. At least not attractive to anything positive. With a negative attitude about men and dating, feeling the whole thing is as annoying as mosquito bites, maybe 100 times more, who do you think you are going to attract?
Annoying men. That’s right! Because “like attract likes” with the Law of Attraction.
So what’s the solution? Let me tell you a story and once you hear the whole thing, you’ll get a better feeling for how you can shift this at least into neutral.
Over the weekend I went to an outdoor evening party. I wore long sleeves and long pants, so I was mostly covered, but I sprayed my part on the top of my head with a natural bug repellent. The mosquitoes were voracious, but I thought I had escaped.
No such luck. Monday morning when I put on my sneakers to exercise, the darn bites came to life all around my ankles where the sneakers rubbed. It felt like fire itching beyond belief. Did I take off my sneakers and not exercise? Of course not! I am committed to my exercise routine. 100%
I started walking down the street and the only thing I could think of was those bites. Itchy, itchy, itchy! Could I really walk for 30-minutes? No choice really, I’m not going to give up exercise because of a few bites. I hoped it would pass.
I began thinking about other things. Topics I actually preferred to ponder and give my energy too. Planning workshops and speaking gigs the upcoming fall season, writing on my blog, remembering how much fun the party was.
Guess what happened? When I stopped thinking about the bug bites, they stopped being front and center in my mind. And finally the horrible itching subsided. I became desensitized to the bites!
Now, let’s take the next step – or leap – and apply this to dating. When you think dating is annoying and focus on that, you experience dating as pretty darn annoying. Guaranteed as I mentioned above. Yet, if you are committed to the process because finding love is that important in your life, you accept that you will do the work any way because you are 100% committed.
You become more relaxed, friendlier and even start enjoying meeting men and your dating activities. Sometimes, it might still feel annoying. But you see it’s just part of the process. Knowing that there is no other way to find love today then to date, you accept dating as your means to an end and become desensitized to every little nuance that you encounter.
With an accepting and committed attitude, you are more positive because you know you are doing this for a purpose – to find love! You are determined to keep on going until you find it. And find it you will!
Dating may be as annoying as mosquito bites, but only if you hold that as your focus. Choose to focus instead on what you want and how you’ll feel with the right man. Sexy, alive and cherished. Or however you imagine the essence of love will feel. Go for it! The annoyance will pass and you will meet a good man. I found love over 40 and that makes me totally sure you can do it too.
photo credit: Trebol-a