Online Dating: How Do I Weed Out the Unsavory Types?

online dating fireworksDear Dating Coach,

“Every time I meet someone on a dating website, they turn out to be completely opposite of what I read about them. There are also a lot of creepy people on them also. How do I weed them out?”

Missing the Mark is Missouri

Dear Missing,

Thanks for your question. Sorry to hear that folks seem different than their profiles. The problem is that most people don’t really know how to describe themselves and usually the vast majority of online profiles sound surprisingly similar. That’s why I help a lot of dating coaching clients write their profiles – so they can stand out from the crowd and get noticed more quickly.

Not sure what your “weeding” process looks like so it’s hard to comment on how to improve it. The trick is to read between the lines, email a few times, talk on the phone once or twice and meet for an hour.

I totally understand how you feel. This is exactly  the kind of thing I do with my dating coaching clients who have felt like you  do. We work on creating a system to qualify prospects before meeting them.  And what clients have found is that with a few changes and some new savvy about the process, they get much better at reading between the lines and weeding men out who are not appropriate.

You do need to keep in mind that in order to find your prince, you will need to weed through a lot of frogs. That’s just how it works and there’s no way around it. But you will learn a tremendous amount about yourself, what you are looking for and what will work for you as you move through the process with your eyes, heart and mind open to men and love.

Sometimes women think the dating process should be really quick and easy since you can just pick the right man from the “online catalog” of match.com. (That’s a great post to read.) Unfortunately, that’s not so realistic. It takes time, patience, faith and the ability to laugh and stay light-hearted!

Don’t let yourself get down about it all. Keep in mind that every man you meet brings you one man closer to the right one for you. He’s out there I know it. I found love. So many of my clients  have found love. And what that means is you too can find love.

Let me know if I can help!


photo credit: frankartculinary

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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