Before I started on my dating journey, I was one of those women who men never approached. It was rare for a man to walk up to me and ask me to dance or even strike up a conversation. I often wondered what was it about some women that made flock to them?
As I continued on my journey to find love, dating 30 men in 15 months, I crammed a lot of learning into a very narrow window of time. Many details about dating became vividly clear to me when I dove head first into mid-life dating.
Today my over 40 dating coaching clients talk about how men find them intimidating. Well maybe you are intimidating. But maybe you are also sending signals that scream “Don’t come over here!” If that is the case – that’s non-verbal self-sabotage!
But don”t worry. This is something very fixable. Follow these eight steps to amplify your allure and you’ll start attracting more men than you ever imagine. It’s hard to believe how simple this is, but once you understand the attraction principles at work, you’ll see why these steps are so very potent.
The Basic Principle: Become Approachable!
1. Get Out of the House
You’ll never meet men if you don’t get out of the house. Take a walk in the park, around your neighborhood or near the beach. Attend a singles event or dance. Go to a business networking function. Drag a girlfriend or go alone, but go! The rest of the techniques to amplify your allure can only be applied once you get out of the house and into the public eye.
2. Be Friendly
An approachable woman appears to be friendly. Men don’t approach women who don’t look friendly because men don’t really enjoy rejection. Nope, they prefer to approach women who seem like a good bet for a pleasant interchange. It’s not just about beauty at all. Do you appear friendly and pleasant? If not, that maybe reason #1 why men don’t approach you! The fundamentals of flirting start with being friendly.
3. Dress for Self-Esteem
When you run out to pick up a few items at the store, you probably don’t care what you look like. You dash in and out of the store to get what you need and return home as quickly as possible. A+ on efficiency, but a big “F” for allure.
The problem isn’t that you don’t look attractive – it’s that you don’t want to see anyone. You literally hide and try to be invisible! That’s counter-productive. When you go out, dress to feel good about yourself. No matter where you’re going, take care of your appearance so that you FEEL more confident. Beauty is over 80% how you feel about yourself. When you look good, you’ll feel good, be more visible, more approachable and automatically amplify your allure.
4. Hold Your Head Up and Smile
When you walk down the street, hold your head up, look happy and smile. People often insulate themselves when walking down the street to avoid attracting attention. But if you’re in a safe area, this is not necessary and cuts you off from potential interactions. When you hold your head up, keep your shoulders back and smile, you look confident and happy. You’ll be more alluring and you’ll feel happier too.
Some women are nervous about smiling at men, thinking this is some kind of promise. But au contraire – smiling is a simple acknowledgment that means, “I see you.” Nothing more too it. When you smile, you acknowledge people and they feel good -so you feel good! And, that makes you even more attractive.
I’ll share four more sizzlin’ tips to amplify your allure tomorrow…
photo credit: cobalt123