Dating Advice: What if He’s too Busy to See Me?

Too Busy to See You?
Too Busy to See You?

Dear Ronnie, The Dating Coach,

I’m a single lady and already 28. Well my problem is that I’m afraid that I won’t ever find the right guy to marry. Wanted to be married when I’ve turned 27 years last year in January 2009, but unfortunately that was just a dream that has gone into shatters.

Before I dated someone for 8 years and we broke up. To me it feels like time I’ve wasted! I’m dating someone really charming now and he is older than me. He was married, but now divorced for many years now. The only problem is that he doesn’t have enough time because he is always busy. To tell you the truth we were together in the middle of February, but we are living in one town and only 15 minutes drive away from each other. I don’t know what to make of this.

Can you please help me – am I making a fool of myself to believe that we will be together?
Foolish in Florida

Hello Ms. Florida,

I know this might be tough to hear, but I’m sorry to say from my experience, if a man lives 15 minutes away, but doesn’t have time to see you, he probably isn’t serious about you. Yes, people are busy, but everyone makes time for what is most important to them. Of course I don’t have all the details, yet my gut tells me this is not a good sign.

Perhaps work is the most important thing to your guy. Or he’s dating others. It’s hard to say why he doesn’t have the time, but in truth, that’s not what really matters. The fact that he doesn’t want to see you as much as you’d like to see him is the concern. Have you asked to see him more often? That might be worth a try, although I don’t hold out much hope in this situation.

However, I want to encourage you to be positive and don’t give up hope! You are only 28 and have plenty of time to find the right man.

Also, you didn’t waste time with your old boyfriend if you enjoyed the relationship and learned what works for you and what doesn’t. That is crucial life and relationship experience that makes you who you are today. You are wiser having lived through it.

I recommend getting out there to meet new men and better candidates. This is what I often tell my dating coaching clients. You can’t meet men if you stay home.

Next, think about how you’d like to be treated.  Make a list of behaviors that you want to avoid in future relationships. Then, if the men you date start to exhibit the any of these behaviors, you know that’s a red flag about not being treated well and will need to rethink who you are dating.

There are so many great men out there, especially at your age. Make a commitment to yourself for how many things you’ll do to meet men every week, put on a smile, dress up and become visible! Have fun out there. I know you can find “the one” for you. If you are active and open, your chances of finding the husband of your dreams are excellent!

Wishing you love,

Ronnie


Photo credit: AnitaCanita

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

3 thoughts on “Dating Advice: What if He’s too Busy to See Me?”

  1. If I can offer a man’s take on this situation… I’ve had a few long term relationships in my life that ended for various reasons. I never thought any of them were a waste of time, and have remained friends with most of the women I’ve dated. One time i was engaged to a great woman but after a few years we decided it wasn’t right so we moved on. Yes, I was sad, hurt, angry, etc., but I never felt that it was a waste of time. I totally agree with what Ronnie said, and encourage Ms Florida to allow herself to remember the good times, but to transcend any negativity about men, dating etc. A new man in your life will know fairly soon if you are feeling this negativity and see it as a big red flag. Just my two cents. Good luck!

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  2. Great advice, Ronnie, especially when you remind her Ms. Florida she’s only 28, hardly over the hill (or even close).

    Ms. Florida, re-read Ronnie’s last three paragraphs and go for it. Never allow yourself to be discouraged. The right man is out there, and he’s looking forward to meeting you. Give him a chance!

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