Dating Over 40: Matchmaker Weighs in on Good Ones Getting Away

Hi Ronnie,

Nicole LeClerc of Compatibles here. I love reading your newsletters and blog, especially this stofy  about Natalie. This really speaks to my life as a matchmaker! 

Most women want instant chemistry… and that is such a shame.  If only these women could give the guys a second or third date to see if chemistry can develop. This applies to the men too of course.  Usually by the time a guy decides he wants to date a woman he met (often his first or second match), she’s already been snatched up by some other lucky guy who didn’t delay. 

So many clients have the ‘grass must be greener” mentality especiallywhen clients first join my service.  No matter how I try, people have their minds made up. If you and I could just convince them to give the people they meet a second or third chance, so many more matches would come out of it! 

 Thanks for encouraging daters to be more open minded and writing these wonderful posts. 

Nicole T. Leclerc, Matchmaker
www.Compatibles.com  (in Vermont)
802-872-8500

Your Direction To Connection

4 responses on “Dating Over 40: Matchmaker Weighs in on Good Ones Getting Away

  1. Ronnie Post author

    Hi Laine,

    I think you summed up hte problem for yourself – right up front in your comment “I am feeling annoyed at myself for allowing this to happen.” That doesn’t change the amount of disappointment you feel and I am sorry that has happened.

    But the good newsis you have very good instincts. If a man is interested, he will pursue you. Unfortunately this guy didn’t pursue in the real world after your first visit; he facebooked. it must have been fun, but not serious for him.

    If pursuit never gets beyond facebook, twitter, email, texts or phone calls – that is not pursuit – its only a penpal, phone buddy, etc. level relationship.

    If you want to social network with men – enjoy it! Just don’t read into it! thinking it means something more. If after two weeks of email etc., there isn’t any request to meet/see you, or even a month at the very outside, move on to find someone who wants more than a virtual relationship.

  2. Laine

    Ronnie, I was wondering if you could write some thoughts on being strung along. This happened to me recently and on looking back now I am feeling annoyed at myself for allowing this to happen. Quick synoptic…this guy is a FB friend. We have been writing for a year to each other, and commenting on each others walls etc. We met about 8 months ago when I was visiting his city. Since then his emails have become more flirty and gave me the impression he was interested in me romantically.

    Last week I was back in his city to visit my sister. As soon as I arrived he called me…suggested we meet up the next day, and that he would call to arrange. He did call when he said he would, but couldnt make it that day..what about the next etc…to cut a long story short..he kept phoning and then making up excuses.

    I ended up getting so mad that when he phoned the day before I was leaving I let his call go through to voice mail. I did not feel like talking with him. I sent him a text to say that I already had plans that day. I still feel hopping mad about it. One girlfriend said that she felt he has been stringing me along. Another girlfriend seems to think that his behaviour is OK and he was probably just busy.

    I didn’t come away feeling good about the experience though. I have stopped corresponding with him on FB…no longer reply to his comments on my wall etc.. I have withdrawn my energy. But I just let him hang there.Would love your thoughts on this.-L

  3. Ronnie Post author

    Laine – I totally agree with you. The point of my article is for those guys in the middle or the road – those are the guys to give a chance. – expand your criteria, then meet and consider as many men as possible. All the best to you!

  4. Laine

    When talking about guys that may have gotten away, I think it needs to be recognised that when one goes on a date or at least when I go on one it is not a matter of black and white. There are 3 possible scenarios of how a woman feels when she first meets a man and is pondering if she would entertain the idea of a second date. I know immediately if I am not attracted on a physical sense. That is the end for me…no need to give the guy more time. I am not interested in finding out any more. Im done.
    Then there is the “Im not sure” which can happen for many reasons too numerous to go into here..but I need more time to see him again…in other words I am open to finding out more.
    Then there is the definite feeling that I am interested in finding out more. Again I am prepared to find out more about the guy by going on another date.

    I empower women to trust their gut..If you do not feel attraction and/or you dont like the guy..or are not excited about going on a second date..THEN DONT.

    xx

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