Dating Over 40: I Let a Good One Get Away

I Let a Good One Get Away
I Let a Good One Get Away

My over 40 dating coaching client Natalie, called my yesterday to share an experience that really shook her up. We haven’t been coaching for a while since she is currently in a happy long-term relationship with David. But, her story still impacts her life and she asked me to share it with you.

Natalie Dismisses Ed
Four years ago, Natalie med Ed in her choir. Ed was a nice enough guy, so when he asked her out, she said yes and went. They had one date which, looking back, was pretty good. But after one date, Natalie hastily decided, “No, he’s too old” and couldn’t even think about the ten year age gap.

Fast Forward 4 Years
Still in choir together, Natalie was recently trying out for a solo and wanted to practice with someone. She asked Ed if he’d help her and he agreed. She went to his home the other night and was impressed with the décor. Ed has a big piano and they sat down to practice, singing the song she had chosen and several other tunes as well. It was a lot of fun and something her current boyfriend David would never do with her.

Hind Sight is 20:20 
She looked at Ed a second time with new eyes and thought that 10 years didn’t seem to make him look old to her today. He has a fiancé and she wouldn’t change a thing with David, yet she could suddenly see what she gave up and dismissed years ago without a second thought. Natalie feels she would have been very compatible with Ed had she given him the least little chance to find that out.

Four Words Determined Her Over 40 Dating Future
To Natalie, four little words determined her future, and she found this very troubling wondering where else she has limited herself in life. She could now see clearly how many potentially great guys she turned away because of a few simple words. Whether she made the decision based on age, “He’s too old” or height, “He’s too short” or education, “He’s not educated”, Natalie reviewed her dating history to recognize the ones who got away. And one of the good ones was definitely Ed.

Is the Grass Greener?
We talked about how she must not have been ready for Ed and there are no “do-overs” since you can’t go back in time. Plus, there is a bit of the “grass is always greener” hiding in there. But Natalie insisted this experience be shared so other women might have a chance with men who are good candidates, yet get rejected superficially on a whim. Without much thought. Without serious consideration. Without a reality check of who they are searching for.

Natalie wanted me to ask you not to let the good ones get away. I agreed.

Great Men in Surprise Packages
Open your heart to love and men. Good men really do exist even though they may come in packages which aren’t precisely what you expected. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t make fabulous partners, lovers and life-long friends.

Give a Man a Shot
Next time you meet a man, give him a real shot. Open your heart and mind long enough to discover if he has any merit. Think beyond instant chemistry which doesn’t last and superficial requirements you can stretch past if you realized the reward. The reward is the love of a good man with whom you can spend many happy years. People fall in love every day. It’s totally possible that you can be one of them.


photo credit: lndhslf72 

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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