Frequently, clients come to me for dating coaching when they are frustrated with online dating. They don’t like the men who wink or email. They don’t understand why men email, then disappear. They are tired of pen pals or guys who never get around to meeting. There are so many things that are annoying about the process. Yet, 12% of marriages today begin with online dating and the percentage of relationships from the web is even higher.
So what’s a woman to do?
Learn how to be more effective on the net!
Here are five tips that will help you get the most from your online efforts. I’ve consulted with a number of experts, compiled their advice and shared it here with you.
1. Your Profile Should Intrigue Men
Women often write profiles thinking they need to provide every detail. Don’t do it! Most men don’t want to read a bunch of personal details. And amazingly, most profiles sound the same. You’re comfortable at a picnic or drinking champagne, you love cultural events, you like to read the paper on Sundays and go to the movies. Boring! Find a way to stand out. You don’t need to give your resume, just a piece of the puzzle to capture his attention and make him want to know more.
2. Email Starts a Conversation
There’s a tendency to repeat details from your profile in your first contact emails. Don’t do it! Instead, write something about his profile. make a humorous comment or ask him a single question about what you read that attracted you to him. Keep it short, upbeat and flirty.
3. Get from Email to Phone ASAP
You may think you are getting to know someone better when you email longer, but this is not the best strategy. Better to email 2-3 times, then get to the phone. You have to converse before you can meet and the net is a numbers game, so meet the guy and find out if there is potential. If not, you can move on. If you like him, you’ll find out if he’s really interested in you when he asks for a second date.
4. Phone Calls Are for Scheduling the First Meeting
I’ve had many coaching clients tell me they chatted for hours from the very first call. Don’t do it! The point of the phone call is to hear his voice, find out if you can hold a conversation and want to know more, and schedule the first date. Regardless of how great the conversation is, end it after 20-30minutes and save something for your live date. You don’t need to tell each everything and in fact you could very well shoot yourself in the foot if you do.
5. First Date = Short Date
The purpose of your first date is to see if there is any potential for a real date. Coffee dates are like first interviews. The point is to discover if a second date is warranted and nothing more.
Don’t get sucked into dinner dates or let a coffee date turn into a marathoner. Have a glass of wine, a cup of coffee or a milkshake (I had a client who loved this). Chat for an hour or 90 minutes tops. Smile, say thank you and wrap it up. Leave him wanting more so there will hopefully be a second date.
Try these 5 proven tips suggested by me and many of my fellow experts to get your online dating sizzling and minimize your frustration.
photo credit: Eflon