Dating After Divorce: I Don’t Have Time to Date with 2 Teenagers

many-clocksAre you a divorced woman with children? Naturally your children are your first priority – as they should be. That’s just good parenting. But a happy Mom, makes for a happy family – isn’t that true as well?

When I work with my dating coaching clients who are dating after divorce, we talk about hopes and dreams for their kids. What mother doesn’t want her children to grow up and live a full and balanced life? One of the best ways to ensure this is to model a full and balanced life yourself. That includes having an active social life.

Many moms feel they need to sacrifice their own life in support of their children, putting off dating until the kids are off at college. It’s understandable how someone might come to this conclusion. There are only so many hours in the day and schedules today for students are jammed packed. But is this really the best thing for all concerned? Only you can make that decision of course.

My challenge to single moms is this – if you want to find a new, loving relationship, you will need to carve out some time for your social life. And in truth, you’ll be a much happier person when you are renewed by time spent with friends at the very least. Care taking has a price that women often don’t acknowledge.

There are several ways to stay fresh which will benefit all parties:

1. Pamper/care for yourself. That includes any of the following such as hair, nails, massage, body work, exercise, personal training, bubble baths, saunas, etc.

2. Relaxation. This step has overlap with pampering when you include baths, saunas, massage, listening to music, reading, etc.

3. Enrichment. Take a continuing ed class, learn a new language, join a book or knitting club, volunteer to help others, etc.

4. Socialize. Spend time with family and friends. Nothing like time with your girlfriends to add more enjoyment to your life. This option offers you support, community, and  laughter – all important for a balanced life.

5. Dating/Relationship. Having a romantic relationship is a real and basic human need. When you carve out even small amounts of time to date and meet new people, you can create the opportunities to find new love.  If you were still married, you’d be making time to spend with for your husband. Use this time to date and to meet new people to find a new partner.

No one said being a single parent is easy. Far from it. As a dating after divorce coach, I just want to encourage you to keep your own life vital and moving forward while you are raising your children. Modeling a balanced life is the surest way to help your children have everything you want for them, and all they so richly deserve.


photo credit: Leo Reynolds

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