Talking to Sharon about her search for love, she stated boldly that her dating action plan solely focused on web dating. As a new over 40 dating coaching client, Sharon is in the beginning stages of meeting men.
While I think it’s great to have a plan and feel committed to it, I am also a big believer in a plan that uses several methods for meeting prospects. Yet, I didn’t want to discourage her about the approach she chose. Gently, I did suggest that while the Internet offers one of the quickest methods for meeting new guys, she should probably consider additional venues. She wasn’t crazy about the idea, but I let it drop for the time being.
Two weeks later, Sharon shared her online dating results with some disappointment. Seems there aren’t that many options in the small state she lives in. She expressed concern over not finding enough prospects and even though only two weeks had gone by, she was immediately discouraged.
I understand believe me. And while I still feel the Internet definitely has something to offer her, I reminded Sharon of how I had suggested trying additional methods in conjunction with the web. “Oh yeah, I remember, ” replied Sharon. Suddenly this advice was making sense and sinking in.
The good thing about the Internet is that it gives you fast entry to the dating world and excellent practice, especially if you have been out of circulation for a while. While 12% of marriages today come from Internet dating, that still leaves 88% that do not. Is online dating a good tool? ABSOLUTELY! But its not the only one in your tool box so to speak.
For Sharon, I recommended she look into singles dances, see if speed dating was an option in her area, and to check out the meetup.com groups. Sharon doesn’t have children, but if she did, she could look into Parents Without Partners as well, which is a national organization. And I know they are often open to singles who don’t have children too.
Beyond these groups and singles events, there is still another excellent option which Sharon was not considering. What else could she take advantage of? How about her environment and flirting with the men she comes in contact with on a daily basis?
Sharon claims she is not a good flirt and is more than out of practice – she just doesn’t do it. I encouraged her to give it a try and start to make this a practice. It’s a great way to interact with men and I guarantee it will add a lot of spontaneous encounters, smiling and fun!
I know this works and you do too. Evidence is astonishing – such as women who meet their man at the dog park, at the grocery store, at a bar, or even walking out of a store. I know women who have met their men through these casual encounters and chance meetings.
Old fashioned friendliness can be a superb method for meeting new men. Even though the men may not be qualified (i.e. you aren’t sure if they are single) being open, warm and friendly makes you more approachable. When you make this a daily practice, you get really good at it – and then you’ll be more confident and at ease at singles events where the men are qualified (i.e. single and looking.)
My advice to singles over 40 and those dating after divorce is this: Don’t rely on one particular method to meet new people. Mix things up and be sure to swim in a number of “pools” to give yourself maximum exposure. Prince Charming is out there, but he needs to cross your path to find you. Make it easy for him and make yourself available!
photo credit: mydimension