Over 40 Dating: Leveraging Your Femininity – Which Came First – The Chicken or the Egg?

Johanna Lyman
Johanna Lyman

I just read a great blog post about “Unleashing Feminine Essence” by Johanna Lyman. Her blog is chock-full of wonderful posts concerning romance recovery. This particular post articulated the most essential reason why as a woman, you want to learn to use and leverage your femininity with men. As Johanna and I both agree, if you insist on maintaining your masculine aspects with a man, you will likely attract a man who wants to abdicate control. He’ll want you to be in charge.

Many women complain that the men they meet aren’t masculine enough. They don’t have that masculine charm that emanates from men like George Clooney.  And if you continue to try to get the ball rolling by asking men out, calling, emailing and texting men – or basically chasing men, you’ll never connect with a masculine man. Because a guy who wants to be in charge – wants to be the pursuer and will shy away from your pursuit.

Oh he may be flattered, interested or curious. And he may want to roll in the hay thinking you’re making it easy for him. But that’s probably not what you are seeking. Even though in many dating situations things usually balance out once you enter the relationship phase to share the power, courtship is all him baby.

Johanna explains that many women hesitate to be vulnerable with a man because they doubt his ability to come forward as the masculine essence. This reminds me a little bit like the argument about what came first – the chicken or the egg?  I want to take this idea one step further for my over 40 dating coaching clients.

I say, GIVE MEN A SHOT. Men, especially the white collar variety, compete with us in the work place. They don’t want to compete at home as well. Draw on your feminine essence first and then see who you attract. It takes a tough woman to risk being open and warm-hearted.  Your strength will not be diminished. It’s scientific fact that energy cannot be destroyed, merely transformed.

Try being the girl for a change vs. the chick-in-charge and see what happens.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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