photo credit – Cheathy
There are a number of male dating coaches who have been working with a mostly male audience and more recently have shifted their attention to helping women as well. While they trash most women dating coaches (gee thanks) I am pleased to share their most important strategy for meeting men.
David Wygant who calls himself America’s top dating coach (nice title Dave) and J. M. Kearns who wrote Why Mr. Right Can’t Find You (I should review that one next!) both offer the same advice. Will you be surprised to learn it’s the same advice I give as well?
Here’s what Wygant says about women coaches. ““I think most women who give dating advice stink,” he said. “It’s based totally on clichés and marketing advice: how to judge a man by his shoes, how to choose a mate by looking at his watch. It’s catchy advice, but I’m telling women exactly how men think.”
While it’s often true that a man’s shoes do say a lot about him, that’s not the advice I’m known for.
Are You Approachable?
J. M. Kearns says that men are “simply looking for a woman who is open to being approached. ” Imagine that? Men want to meet friendly women. Women who make it easy to strike up a conversation. Women who have their dating antennae up and know when a man is showing interest.
Don’t Reject Men by Mistake
Kearns goes on to say, “All you have to do is not reject him.” And maybe send a few signals of your own, expressing interest because even decent men need encouragement. Playboys are good to go any time. But the men you want might not enjoy rejection or be as smooth as your average slick bad boy who oozes sexual chemistry.
Kearns entreats you, “If you encounter a man who looks like a good prospect to you, smile at him.” Yes, PLEASE SMILE AT HIM. It’s really not so much to ask is it?
A Smile is Not a Promise of More
These two coaches swear that a smile will not be mistaken for a sexual advance, so not to worry. In fact, they claim that, “For the average guy in what we call a desirable bar, a one-night stand is the last thing on his mind. If the totally improbable happens and a nice woman sits down beside him, the last thing he wants to do is blow this unheard-of chance encounter (with you) by coming on too strong.”
That’s a different perspective isn’t it? Why is that? Because most women are just plain unfriendly. Even though it doesn’t make sense. Why would a single woman who wants to find love be unfriendly to men? Excellent question if you ask me. I’m often confused by this choice of behavior myself.
Does Not Being Friendly Work?
In that Dr. Phil way of asking – How is that unfriendliness working for you? I bet your answer would probably be something like, “Not too good.”
If you won’t take my dating advice, maybe you’ll take the advice from men themselves. Go ahead and smile! A friendly woman who is easily approachable has about a 100 times advantage over the snooty, angry woman no matter how beautiful the latter may be. A smile will increase your appeal 10 fold or more.
Go ahead. I dare you. This week, try this crazy experiment. Find at least 5 men every day that you will smile at. They don’t have to be perfect men, single men or even prospects. They just have to be men you smile at. Smile at men as you walk by on the street, in the car next to your’s, as you get off the elevator. You get the idea.
You can keep walking, you don’t need to talk to them. Your objective isn’t to get something started. It’s to learn to be friendly in an easy, confident way. Just smile. I think you’ll like the results. Happy people who smile are very appealing. Find out for yourself this week.
The 100 Day Challenge Starts Sunday, 6/21
And if you want to really challenge yourself to met lots of men this summer, why not take my workshop called The 100 Day Challenge? It starts 6/21 at 8pm eastern time. 5 teleclasses on talking to and meeting 50 men this summer.
This is a winning program that will break you out of your shyness and eliminate your reservations about flirting, being friendly and smiling. Become the woman men want to meet. Read more and register.