Dating After Divorce: Is “Good Editor” One of Your Must Have Qualities for a Romantic Partner?

One of my clients was complaining about online profiles, emails and why she just isn’t interested in a man who can’t spell or confuses words. She can almost forgive the typos, but using too instead of to sends her over the edge.

Sandra insists that this is a measure of intelligence and she needs to be with an intelligent man. A man of substance. Oh really? What substance are you measuring by Sandra?

Shocking as this may seem, poor spelling, typos and choosing the wrong word in a quick email are not signs of low intelligence. It’s actually a sign of bad editing skills – something I know a lot about being the queen of typos myself.

If editing was a true sign of intelligence, I’d be considered excruciatingly stupid- and perhaps I am by some. But I am not objecting to this requirement of yours because I’m sensitive…

Even the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times have editing errors as well as countless books. You can find them every day.

Think about it this way – is “good editing skills” on your list of “must have” qualities describing the ideal man for you?

I doubt it.

Heck, our past president went to Yale and Harvard and couldn’t speak well or spell, but he made it to the top of our country anyway. So poor spelling and even speaking isn’t a deterrent for amazing accomplishments is it?

Why not judge your potential partners based on their values and how well they match your own? Things like having a good heart and a generous spirit. If the man treats you well, has a good sense of humor that you enjoy and understand. Can he make you laugh, smile and hold a good conversation? Is his energy level similar to yours and do you share any activities in common? Is he social enough or family oriented?

These qualities are the core of what makes for a good partner. Not spelling, word choice or editing.

If I have to repeat my plea daily I will. Ladies, please open your minds to what men truly have to offer you. It’s not editing that matters most – its love and partnership. Honesty and humor. it’s been said before but I will say it again – don’t sweat the small stuff.

Cut these guys online some slack. For example, you could meet an intelligent man with advanced mathematical skills and a heart of gold, who can’t spell to save his life. And you could be really happy together.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

4 thoughts on “Dating After Divorce: Is “Good Editor” One of Your Must Have Qualities for a Romantic Partner?”

  1. Sally, I agree with you completely! I can get past a few typos, because we are all prone to them, but there is a limit. I love men who are able to express themselves well, in both the written and spoken word. If your writing is extremely poor, that won’t work for me. And I’m not English teacher, but I really would like it if you knew when to use ‘their’ vs. ‘there’.

    And it’s about first impressions. In online dating, your profile/email is your first impression- just as you give yourself the once over before leaving your house, you should give your profile/emails a second look before presenting them to the world too.

    Reply
  2. “Heck, our past president went to Yale and Harvard and couldn’t speak well or spell, but he made it to the top of our country anyway. So poor spelling and even speaking isn’t a deterrent for amazing accomplishments is it?”

    I personally wouldn’t consider our past president’s service in office an accomplishment…maybe just getting there, but once you get there you still have to “show up”.

    Email is one of the first steps in on line dating – I can understand typos (I do them too), but outright wrong spelling and bad grammar can make it challenging to even understand what the guy is trying to say in his message. Maybe someday my view will change and the right guy will send his message through loud and clear, spelling and grammar errors and all, but right now I’m holding my standards of intelligence. I am an educated, hard working, woman who appreciates the same in a man.

    Reply
    • OK – I will acquiesce on the degree of bad grammar and spelling.

      If the whole email is hard to read and riddled with errors – what you say makes total sense. However, if you reject men because of an error or two, that is where I am asking for leniency.

      The good news – you get to decide the degree. You are always in charge. I do not advocate dating men who are totally off base or wrong for you. I’m just here to support you in being open to meet as many men as possible so you can find the “one.”

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