Over 40 Dating: I’m So Excited about My First Date, But I Don’t Want to Appear Desperate

 

Dear Dating Coach,

I met this really great, attractive guy (via Match) who I had a wonderful dinner date with this past weekend . I’ve never met a Match.com guy like this. Usually there’s no spark, but I’d give many guys the three date try as you suggest in MANifesting Mr. Right. But this date was really great! Sparks, laughter, and smart, conversation.

Mr. Wonderful emailed to say that it was one of the best 1st dates he’s ever had. (me too!) He asked me to go out again next weekend. Wow this is fun. I just worry that my enthusiasm could appear as desperation, I don’t scare him off. I’m not desperate, just excited to meet someone like him.

Any advice???
Ms. Wonderful

Dear Ms. Wonderful,

First off – yeah on a great first date! Next, take some deep breaths. Be excited, but not with him. Share that excitement with your friends.

Not to rain on your parade, but being a veteran myself and based on all the women I coach, it’s so important to keep things in perspective. Yes you had a great date, yeah!

But it’s only one so far, even if it does look promising.

Time will tell. You have a lot more data gathering to do and observing.

This is the exact reason why I recommend volume dating – so you don’t over focus on any one guy.

The best thing I can tell you believe it or not is to distract yourself. If you find yourself thinking about him too much, read a book, talk to friends, exercise, watch a movie, start a new project, even go on a date with someone else.

If it works out, there’s no downside to guarding your heart, and if it doesn’t – well then it was a wise move.

On your next date, be your happy enjoyable self, but be sure not to gush or over share. You can say you’re having a great time. You can compliment and praise him. But don’t over do it. As you know when someone pours on the compliments and excitement too thick – it can repel. And even worse it can come across as INSINCERE

Nothing is tougher or more fun than the beginning of a new potential relationship. Mr. Wonderful has a lot of proving to do still before you know for sure that he is the one.

My advice is to take things slowly. At the very least the Universe has now shown you that you are ready to attract the men you want – that is very big!

Wishing you love,
Ronnie – The Dating Coach


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