Over 40 Dating: e-Harmony Sends Matches from Men Who Are Inactive!

If you read my blog or newsletter, you know I advise against e-Harmony, particularly for the over 40 crowd.

Men Don’t Care about Personality Tests
I have nothing against the site. It’s just that I don’t think many men are willing to fill out 436 questions about their personality. The vast majority of men can’t be bothered with a convoluted communication method following a specific email protocol or a personality test. combine that perspective with all the dating coaching clients and women I know who complain bitterly about their experience and you can see how I came to this conclusion.

But listen to this…

Real Life Story about e-Harmony Matches
One of my clients called to tell me a real life story. Her friend Tom, who just got married, recently heard from Susie, his wife’s friend, that she just received Tom’s profile as one of her e-harmony matches!

How is this possible you ask?

Well, Tom thought he had shut down his profile ages ago. Turns out he only marked his profile “inactive” not specifically to shut the whole thing down.  Oh oh. Obviously, that’s not the way to go if you want to stop all activity.

Inactive and Active Profiles Are Sent as Matches
Now we know without question that e-Harmony sends matches to people from their data base of both active and inactive clients. Drawing my own conclusions, this further reinforces for me that the site does not have enough men. Why else would they  resort to such questionable tactics?

Not a Player
Don’t worry though, Tom went back into his profile and shut the whole thing down. He was pretty furious though, since he is not a cheater, just got married and is freaked that anyone might consider him to be  a player.

Word to the Wise  – Shut Down Profile Completely
If you have a profile on e-harmony, and you only made your profile inactive – better go back in and shut it down completely if you don’t want your profile to be sent out as a match!.


Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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