Dating After Divorce: Questions about Dating a Dad

Dear Dating Coach,

I am dating a single dad for two months now. I met him when we used to work together two years ago. At that time he lived with his son’s mother, but now they broke up. I do like him, but I’m not 100% sure if i can handle being in a serious relationship with him and having the responsibility to take care of his son. He is 26 and I’m only 20. I don’t know what to do. What do you think?

Young and in Love

Dear Young,

I agree, taking care of a child is a big responsibility. But I don’t have enough details to give you the best answer. For example – are you helping him take care of his son right now or are you worried about the future?

If you are already helping him care for his son, that does seems like a lot of responsibility too quickly. You can still date this man and not be responsible for his child’s care – I think that’s an awfully big assumption on his part – that after two month’s of dating you could act as a step mom.

So if you are already helping with his child, I would simply talk to him and say you don’t feel comfortable in that role at this time, and would rather wait until you know each other better. See what he says. To build a strong and long lasting relationship, talking about things is the only way to go.

If you are worrying about caring for his child in the future, I would advise you to relax and stay in the present moment. Just enjoy getting to know your date and take things one step at a time. And hold off on offering to care for hsi son – that’s what the child’s mother’s job is!

Children do complicate dating. And often their needs come first which is necessary. But if you feel you are being used as a babysitter in exchange for dates – I’d rethink the situation and the man.

Wishing you love,

Ronnie – The Dating Coach

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