Over 40 Dating: How Can I Get Him Back?

flaming rosephoto by Zyada

Dear Ronnie,

A few months ago I met this fabulous guy. We fell in love so fast. Crazy as it  seems Joe asked me to move in right away and I did. Initially everything was amazing. He was so romantic and fun!

Unfortunately, within a short time, I got angry about something and blew up totally. That was it for Joe.  While I still am living with him, Joe says he is happy to be my friend but that’s as far as it goes. He had a girlfriend once who had a hot temper and he doesn’t want that in his life again.

I’ve tried to show him that I can be level-headed and I can work on my temper, but that doesn’t seem to get me any where.

I miss the way he used to look at me with the fire in his eyes.  How can I get that back – and get him back as my boyfriend?

Sad in San Fran

Dear Sad,

I’ve never been one to blow smoke or tell people what they want to hear.  I’m too practical for that. So here goes with my advise.

When a man tells you that we wants to be friends, believe him. When a man tells you things are over, believe him. Sounds like you touched a hot spot for Joe. Since he has already been down that road, and sounds really firm that he doesn’t want to give you a chance and risk revisitng a relationship with a fiesty girlfriend, I don’t think there is much you can do.

Rather than hanging in there and hoping things will change, the best thing you can do is pack up and move on. You may also want to get some counseling for anger management if this has been a problem in the past.

But here is the good news. There are men who like a fiesty woman and enjoy the drama and the making up. So,  there are plenty of men out there who would appreicate your “spirit.”  Get out of Joe’s house, get back to being on your own. Work on your temper. Then start looking for a new man who will like you for who the wonderful woman you are.

Wishing you love,
Ronnie Ann Ryan – The Dating Coach

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