Dating After Divorce: Six Ways to Get Past Your Resistance to Getting Started on the Dating Journey

You’ve been divorced for a while now, maybe a year, maybe a lot longer. Friends have asked you what you are doing to meet men, but you calmly reply, "Not much." And that’s OK, for a while. Not that everyone must have a new relationship. I understand how it’s not for everyone. But if you have plans of someday finding love again, may I gently inquire, "What are you waiting for?"
 
Believe it or, more time won’t make it any easier to get started. In fact, the longer you wait, the more non-dating inertia has a tendency to build up. This non-dating inertia is a very real concern. According to dictionary.com, Inertia means "Inactivity with regard to effort, action or motion." From physics you may remember that a body in motion in more likely to stay on motion, while a body at rest is more likely to stay…at rest! This is exactly why I recommend getting started and doing something to meet men.
 
Naturally there is a period of recovery after divorce. It’s very important to rebuild self-esteem and get clear on who you are and what works for you. But after that has been accomplished, how can you make the transition into the dating arena?
 
Well it differs from person to person. Try any of these options or all of them and see what happens. Just like the lottery, you can’t win if you don’t play! Have fun out there – yes it CAN be fun.
 

Take it Slow Options
1. Take it slowly.
Find a single friend and go to a singles dance. Smile and be friendly and don’t worry about meeting anyone special. Just practice being friendly and getting comfortable.
 
2. Start super slowly.
Look for events where you can meet new people, single or not. For example, if you are over 50, the Red Hat Society is for women of any marital status who want to get together and have fun. Meeting new women expands your social circle which is very positive and helpful.
 
3. The smallest possible step.
Put a date on your calendar for sometime in the future when come hell or high water you will definitely take a first step to meet new people. It can be helpful to give yourself this last little waiting period for some folks who have a lot of trepidation.

Hit the Ground Running Options 
4. Get moving now.
Look in the calendar section of your local paper and make a note of any events you want to attend.  Put them in your calendar and call to RSVP if required. Make a commitment and go!
 
5. Jump in!
Sign up for a speed dating event and show up. Remember, you might not meet anyone special the first time or two, but its fabulous flirting practice. Go with a smile on your face and a sense of adventure.
 
6. Launch your dating journey.
Start asking friends, family and then even colleagues and acquaintances if they know any single men. Simply say you’d like to meet someone and ask if they know of any appropriate single men. You’ll be surprised how happy 99% of the people are to give this some thought to help match you up.
 

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