Dating Over 40: Can I Take My Profile Down? I’ve Had 3 Dates with Mr. Wonderful!

Yesterday, Stacy asked me this question. The short answer is – I don’t advise it. Don’t take your profile down before you know how things are going to unfold. There are cases where you hit it off with someone and you know – this is it. Or at least it seems that way. Ever felt like this? Ever been wrong?

It does happen on a rare occasion. People meet, hit it off and stay together for many happy years. If a man asks you to take your profile down and is doing everything right, seeing you, calling you, saying and doing the right things, well, OK. Hide it for a while and see what happens.
 
But, that request early on is rare. It’s more realistic, to leave your profile up and stay open to other prospects. When I was dating, I saw several guys at one time ( well on different days), mostly because so many disappeared before anything really got started. Two to three dates and poof – the guy would be history. I didn’t send them packing, they packed themselves so to speak.
 
And when I met my husband, he had a slow approach to dating. He wasn’t in a hurry and didn’t hear my clock ticking. I was so incredibly grateful to be dating someone else simultaneously – who I also found attractive. I knew better than to put all my eggs into a basket that wasn’t even fully constructed if you get my drift.
 
Stacy’s reaction is very common. Some women hate dating and just want to settle in as quickly as possible. But let me advise you  – do your best to avoid this tendency. You’ll end up short circuiting your opportunities and it can lead you to hooking up and getting emotionally invested with the wrong guy.  Plus, what if he hasn’t taken his profile down? He would still be looking and you’d be focusing on one guy who is possibly not focusing on you.
 
Looking around, hedging your bets, fishing a little longer – that’s smart dating strategy. Sometimes people are so happy to have had a series of dates that they want to make the new partner "the one." But that doesn’t mean he is. He might be – but it will take time to know for sure. Certainly more than three dates.
 
Leave that profile up a while. See how things go. Once you have the exclusivity discussion – that’s a good time to take it down – for both of you. If you think of dating like playing poker, you want to keep your hand close to the vest. Don’t give away your cards or your heart prematurely before you finish the game.
 

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