Dating Over 40: John Edwards’ Cheating Heart

My friend Terry, author of How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams has a funny video of Jon Stewart from the Daily Show on Comedy Central – berating Senator John Edwards on his adultery. I have got to start watching his show – very clever and funny – reminds me of Bill Maher, another comedian who builds a show around the news.

Senator Edwards made some incredibly stupid comments when discussing his transgression. He said it was during a period when his wife was in remission – uh – yeah, that’s an excuse – Oh she was healthy so that makes it better?

He mentioned several times that no one in his family was to blame – uh duh? Could he blame his children or his wife? Only he has control, or lack there of over his little head shall we say.

Then he tapped his heart repeatedly claiming this is where his wife resides. Oh really? So that’s how you treat a woman who resides in your heart?  What a fool. Doesn’t he know the less said the better? There is no excuse. He would have been better off just saying I did it, I got caught, I’m sorry. End of story. Anything more is like salt in the wound and makes him sound like a complete buffoon.

Now I’m not commenting on whether or not his wife should forgive him or where they go from here. That is a totally personal decision and I can’t make that one for anyone else. And I can’t even comment on what I would do in that situation. Frankly, I pray I don’t have to ever make that decision. And my heart goes out to anyone who has been in this predicament.

I do have a friend whose husband cheated on her during the first year of marriage when she was pregnant with their first child. She caught him, they fought a lot. Then she forgave him. But 20 years later she still doesn’t trust him even though she has never caught him cheating again. On the other hand, they have been happy, raised two children and really enjoy each other’s company. so you can see why I am at a loss to give my perspective. I just don’t know. For my friend, she feels she made the right choice and really that is all that matters.

My only comment would pertain to a person who has been caught cheating multiple times. I suppose someone could slip up once, And then refrain from repeating such a mistake. But if cheating is a habit, that’s a whole different can of worms.

If you have 4-5 minutes, you can watch the video on Terry’s blog  The video is actually a little over 6 minutes but the end includes comedy about our president at the Olympics – off topic, although you may want to see the whole thing if you have the time.

Enjoy!

 

 

2 responses on “Dating Over 40: John Edwards’ Cheating Heart

  1. Ronnie Post author

    Sharon, thanks for your insights. I appreciate your point of view and find it interesting how you track this behavior back to addiction.

    The idea of moving towards authenticity provides hope for us all. Thanks for pointing out the positive evidence you have noticed!

  2. Sharon Massoth

    I think that men have what Wayne Dyer said in this week’s Hayhouse radio show “a lifetime sentence” of their sexuality. I coach many executive types and there is constant temptation out there in their travels. There needs to be more open discussion about the issue so that men can openly deal with how to master their urge for variety, conquest and the thrill of a new relationship among others. If they could own their humanness and any shadow side of their sexuality (use of power, influence, etc.) then they might have a chance of coming to terms with the whole issue of monogamy. Do they want to? What supports are in place if they get tempted?

    The whole world is moving toward more authenticity. Several college presidents in the state are saying, “Enough! Let the drinking age be 18 so we can have a better chance to regulate what is already going on.” It is that same honesty that men need to say “Wait a minute, what do I want and how can I come to terms with what is important to my mate and myself?” It really is a private matter that needs to be reconciled just like everything else. YOu don’t want to let go of your money but you pay taxes because you know it’s needed and you want to be a good rolemodel for your constituents, etc.. You don’t have sex and/or emotional affairs with other women because you only have energy for your current wife, it is a betrayal and you don’t like living a lie with someone who is supposed to be your trusted partner in life. Floundering around with embarassing excuses afterwards reveals that you just didn’t want to let go of the thrill and that’s called addiction. And that requires help.

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