Dating After Divorce: Are You Ready to Date?

My friend and fellow dating expert, Terry Hernon MacDonald wrote an excellent piece last Friday in answer to a reader’s questions about dating via the Internet. In fact, I was taken by her direct approach and savvy honesty from her perspective about the question asked.

Her reader said she was ready to date, but then signed up for a site that would actually make it hard to meet the men. And that is exactly what Terry pointed out. Of course this had nothing to do with the question which is why I admire her well- thought out response. She went deeper to get to the potential heart of the matter.

The question was about how the reader could start attracting men closer to her age because she was mostly attracting men in their 50’s. Terry is big on the Law of Attraction and her answer applies her belief system regarding this Universal principle.

I might have thought that, but chosen to  focus on the fact that the Internet, even more than any other dating method, will attract all kinds. And it’s the easiest place for older men to approach younger women because the sting of rejection is reduced when it’s electronic. This makes it easy for older men to get very bold and write to women 15-20 years their junior all the time. It’s called FANTASY. They are basically dreaming.

And these men are most often trying to fish from a pool that will NEVER BITE. So, for all you gals out there who are furious that too many older men wink or email, don’t worry about it. There are plenty of younger men in cyberspace as well. For all you 50-60 something women who think older men just want younger women, remember that 30% of women over 40 are dating younger men. Not only can you date men your own age (and there are those men living in the real world who you can connect with) you can also dip into that younger pool yourself.

But for you older women who think of yourself as being so youthful that you are ONLY WILLING TO DATE YOUNGER MEN – you  are now dreaming with the older men and will probably remain single just like them. Be realistic and expand your age target to date men your own age, or older, or younger. When you narrow down the pool, you severely limit your chances of finding the love you deserve.

Isn’t it great that dating experts focus on different aspects fo dating? I agree with Terry – it’s quite possible that 32 year old woman might not be ready to open her heart again to date. That is an excellent "diagnosis." And I’d also say to her, "Honey, just delete those emails if you’re not interested and keep going. There are plenty of men your age on the technology superhighway."

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