A recent article in the Wall Street Journal presented results from a new study on parents, teens and dating rules. The article entitled, "What the Dating Rules You Set For Your Kids Say About You" had some interesting tidbits. Apparently happily married couples set more stringent guidelines, where as parents burned by love dealt with dating more on advice basis.
Suggestions like "Act like a gentleman." and "Don’t let your date walk all over you" came from parents with less fulfilling love lives. And not surprisingly, these bits of wisdom pretty much fell on deaf ears wtih the kids.
The article, written by Sue Shellenbarger, recommends keeping tabs on your kids whereabouts rather than meddling in their dating style. Hmmmm. That’s an interesting twist. Not having kids, it’s hard for me to have an opinion on what might work best. On the other hand, having been a teen (so many many years ago), I know meddling doesn’t hold much weight.
The whole idea does give one pause to think about the advice you’d give anyone about dating. I myself learned the hard way that even some well-intentioned advice could end up ugly. After a few months of gathering opinions from friends and implementing with disastrous results, I figured out who knew what they were talking about regarding men and dating. That sure made managing my love life a lot easier.
The friends in the know were always right on the money and their advice just felt right to me. No matter how may opinions you may solicit to help you know what to do and make good decisions, remember this – your opinion is the only one that really matters because you are the one will live with the consequences of your actions.
Pick reliable and sensible sources to get your advice. Look at the relationships your advisors have – if it’s something you wish you had, then that friend or family member is probably a good resource.