8 Powerful Ways to Get His Attention Back

How do you get his attention back when he has pulled away or changed the way he treats you? If things were great but no longer are, read on.

Your man seems distracted and you fear he may be losing interest. What’s a woman to do? You might be thinking – “What did I do wrong?” There could be a million reasons and it’s a good chance you will never know for sure. But here are eight powerful ways you can get his attention back.

 get his attention back

1First, be clear

Do you really want him back? If he lost interest, is he the right man for you? Was he that great or are you just lonely now? It’s worth asking because this will take some effort. So be clear he is a good match for you and worth the extra effort you are about to undertake to get his attention back.

2) Think about your interactions

Is it possible you have changed? I had a client one time who had a routine with men she dated. She’d start out all sweet as pie, but after a while, she couldn’t keep that up. She’d to go back to being her normal (not as agreeable) self. Yikes! It’s best to be yourself vs. what you think a man wants if you want lasting love.

Being yourself, albeit your best self, is crucial to developing a solid relationship. If you have shifted away from being your authentic self, come back to that, since that’s what your man was attracted to in the first place.

3) Have you become clingy or demanding?

It can happen to the best of us. But, being clingy is highly unattractive behavior. Men like confident women, same as women like confident men.

If your insecurity is getting the best of you, take care of your needs and give him some space. Rely on your friends more, read self-help books, or get professional help. Being clingy and demanding will not keep a man by your side for long.

4) Are you over-communicating?

Sometimes you are so happy to be dating a great guy, you start to over-communicate. If you are calling him often, sending multiple texts, or emailing frequently, slow it down. This is especially true when a man stops responding. Constantly reaching out will not help or get his attention back.

If he seems to be pulling back, give him some space. No one likes to feel crowded and men often communicate less than women. Allow for him to miss you and if he’s serious about you, he’ll reach back out soon. Or you’ll discover he’s not the man for you.

5) Are you taking up all of his time?

This is another space issue. Men need to keep up their friendships too and have quality guy time. They have interests and projects they want to spend time on. Smile when he wants to go out with the boys – that gives you a night off too. Visit with your friends or get chores done at home. You can entertain yourself one night, even on the weekend.

6) Do you still look your best?

It’s easy to slip back into comfy clothing vs. when you first met, but keeping up your appearance is important for maximizing attraction when still solidifying your relationship.

Don’t back slide into old habits if you tended to hang out in sweats before you met him. Put on some lipstick and wear something pretty, if you want to get his attention back. Looking good is excellent for your own self-esteem and confidence too.

7) Pull back

I know this is the hardest thing to do. Every instinct in your body is screaming to run after him. But don’t do it. That’s the worst strategy to get his attention back and it doesn’t work.

Think of this like ballroom dancing. As you take a step back, he has the chance to take a step forward. Don’t be too available, change plans or asking him out all the time. Absence can make the heart grow fonder. After he realizes you’re not all over him like you used to be, let him chase you again, so he appreciates you.

8) Remember, you are a fabulous woman

This guy you’ve been seeing is lucky to have shared time with you. If your relationship doesn’t work out, hold your head high and remain confident. You are still a great catch and there are plenty more men who will appreciate you.

If you do break up, take time to heal and build your self-esteem again. I guarantee, he really wasn’t the only guy for you. Someone else is out there who might be even better. But you won’t know that if you don’t get out there to look.

Now you know eight powerful ways to get his attention back or decide to move on to find the love you deserve.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

19 thoughts on “8 Powerful Ways to Get His Attention Back”

  1. For me, it’s hard not to take the lead because I’m a single parent and dating takes effort and planning. I want to include someone I like in things I am doing (baseball game, concert etc). If I’m dating a guy and get invited somewhere, I can’t invite him? I know your advice is correct but I have such trouble laying off because I’m enthusiastic and busy:) I need to make dates in advance and get things on the books:) I’ve seen a guy 3 times in 7 weeks and then he went out of town for training so we text and call since for 3 weeks now. I’m trying to wait for him to initiate but, my feelings are too obvious. He knows I really like him and is definitely showing interest. Is it too late to redirect and let him lead? I need help learning to let a man show his intentions. Any advice would be so welcomed!

    Reply
    • Hi R, If you want lasting love, it’s not about dating at your convenience. If you can’t learn to “play the game” you will continue to struggle. The reason to play is not about manipulation – its about understanding men. A lot of men like having dating you be his idea and they have their own sense of timing. You cannot rush him along so you get enough notice. Granted this might not fit your lifestyle but, then that guy won’t be the right guy for you. His being away is tough because you are not in a relationship yet and 3 dates in 7 weeks isn’t much- very casual. He might be not be serious about you. If you want to know how interested he is DO NOT INITIATE ANYTHING. He knows how to get in touch. Wait to see what he does and follow his lead. Answer when he reaches out. If he doesn’t connect – that’s your answer. He’s not serious.

  2. I’ve been dating this guy for a month and he was responding all day, sending me kiss emojis and making plans to see me. I can tell his interest has weened off a little and I’m trying to give him space but want to let him know I’m still interested. What do I do?

    Reply
    • Stephanie – Don’t think you can nudge him into wanting you again. If he comes back to you and gets consistent in his effort that will be a sign he’s serious about you. If he slowly disappears then you know he wasn’t that interested in the first place. This happens all the time to women (and men too). But he knows you are interested because you always responded before right? So no need to let him know that – it will just make you look desperate. If you feel like you have to, just text him something funny or a quick hello once and see what he does.

  3. Hello me and my boyfriend dated for 3 years and he broke up with me because he said he lost interest and that I was thinking about the future to soon. I want to get him back and I haven’t talked to him in 2 weeks. He is coming next week to get his stuff from our house should I apologize for not being affectionate enough and talking about long term too soon or do I say nothing?

    Reply
    • Hi Emily,
      I don’t know your age but 3 years is a long time. You may need to accept that he doesn’t want anything serious. Even though a lot of expert make all these promises about how to get a man back, there really isn’t a way unless he WANTS to come back. So you can try talking to him when he comes to get his stuff. But it may not work. There will be other men and hopefully one who wants the same kind of relationship that you want.

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