8 Powerful Ways to Get His Attention Back

How do you get his attention back when he has pulled away or changed the way he treats you? If things were great but no longer are, read on.

Your man seems distracted and you fear he may be losing interest. What’s a woman to do? You might be thinking – “What did I do wrong?” There could be a million reasons and it’s a good chance you will never know for sure. But here are eight powerful ways you can get his attention back.

 get his attention back

1First, be clear

Do you really want him back? If he lost interest, is he the right man for you? Was he that great or are you just lonely now? It’s worth asking because this will take some effort. So be clear he is a good match for you and worth the extra effort you are about to undertake to get his attention back.

2) Think about your interactions

Is it possible you have changed? I had a client one time who had a routine with men she dated. She’d start out all sweet as pie, but after a while, she couldn’t keep that up. She’d to go back to being her normal (not as agreeable) self. Yikes! It’s best to be yourself vs. what you think a man wants if you want lasting love.

Being yourself, albeit your best self, is crucial to developing a solid relationship. If you have shifted away from being your authentic self, come back to that, since that’s what your man was attracted to in the first place.

3) Have you become clingy or demanding?

It can happen to the best of us. But, being clingy is highly unattractive behavior. Men like confident women, same as women like confident men.

If your insecurity is getting the best of you, take care of your needs and give him some space. Rely on your friends more, read self-help books, or get professional help. Being clingy and demanding will not keep a man by your side for long.

4) Are you over-communicating?

Sometimes you are so happy to be dating a great guy, you start to over-communicate. If you are calling him often, sending multiple texts, or emailing frequently, slow it down. This is especially true when a man stops responding. Constantly reaching out will not help or get his attention back.

If he seems to be pulling back, give him some space. No one likes to feel crowded and men often communicate less than women. Allow for him to miss you and if he’s serious about you, he’ll reach back out soon. Or you’ll discover he’s not the man for you.

5) Are you taking up all of his time?

This is another space issue. Men need to keep up their friendships too and have quality guy time. They have interests and projects they want to spend time on. Smile when he wants to go out with the boys – that gives you a night off too. Visit with your friends or get chores done at home. You can entertain yourself one night, even on the weekend.

6) Do you still look your best?

It’s easy to slip back into comfy clothing vs. when you first met, but keeping up your appearance is important for maximizing attraction when still solidifying your relationship.

Don’t back slide into old habits if you tended to hang out in sweats before you met him. Put on some lipstick and wear something pretty, if you want to get his attention back. Looking good is excellent for your own self-esteem and confidence too.

7) Pull back

I know this is the hardest thing to do. Every instinct in your body is screaming to run after him. But don’t do it. That’s the worst strategy to get his attention back and it doesn’t work.

Think of this like ballroom dancing. As you take a step back, he has the chance to take a step forward. Don’t be too available, change plans or asking him out all the time. Absence can make the heart grow fonder. After he realizes you’re not all over him like you used to be, let him chase you again, so he appreciates you.

8) Remember, you are a fabulous woman

This guy you’ve been seeing is lucky to have shared time with you. If your relationship doesn’t work out, hold your head high and remain confident. You are still a great catch and there are plenty more men who will appreciate you.

If you do break up, take time to heal and build your self-esteem again. I guarantee, he really wasn’t the only guy for you. Someone else is out there who might be even better. But you won’t know that if you don’t get out there to look.

Now you know eight powerful ways to get his attention back or decide to move on to find the love you deserve.

19 responses on “8 Powerful Ways to Get His Attention Back

  1. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi R, If you want lasting love, it’s not about dating at your convenience. If you can’t learn to “play the game” you will continue to struggle. The reason to play is not about manipulation – its about understanding men. A lot of men like having dating you be his idea and they have their own sense of timing. You cannot rush him along so you get enough notice. Granted this might not fit your lifestyle but, then that guy won’t be the right guy for you. His being away is tough because you are not in a relationship yet and 3 dates in 7 weeks isn’t much- very casual. He might be not be serious about you. If you want to know how interested he is DO NOT INITIATE ANYTHING. He knows how to get in touch. Wait to see what he does and follow his lead. Answer when he reaches out. If he doesn’t connect – that’s your answer. He’s not serious.

  2. R

    For me, it’s hard not to take the lead because I’m a single parent and dating takes effort and planning. I want to include someone I like in things I am doing (baseball game, concert etc). If I’m dating a guy and get invited somewhere, I can’t invite him? I know your advice is correct but I have such trouble laying off because I’m enthusiastic and busy:) I need to make dates in advance and get things on the books:) I’ve seen a guy 3 times in 7 weeks and then he went out of town for training so we text and call since for 3 weeks now. I’m trying to wait for him to initiate but, my feelings are too obvious. He knows I really like him and is definitely showing interest. Is it too late to redirect and let him lead? I need help learning to let a man show his intentions. Any advice would be so welcomed!

  3. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Stephanie – Don’t think you can nudge him into wanting you again. If he comes back to you and gets consistent in his effort that will be a sign he’s serious about you. If he slowly disappears then you know he wasn’t that interested in the first place. This happens all the time to women (and men too). But he knows you are interested because you always responded before right? So no need to let him know that – it will just make you look desperate. If you feel like you have to, just text him something funny or a quick hello once and see what he does.

  4. Stephanie

    I’ve been dating this guy for a month and he was responding all day, sending me kiss emojis and making plans to see me. I can tell his interest has weened off a little and I’m trying to give him space but want to let him know I’m still interested. What do I do?

  5. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Emily,
    I don’t know your age but 3 years is a long time. You may need to accept that he doesn’t want anything serious. Even though a lot of expert make all these promises about how to get a man back, there really isn’t a way unless he WANTS to come back. So you can try talking to him when he comes to get his stuff. But it may not work. There will be other men and hopefully one who wants the same kind of relationship that you want.

  6. Emily

    Hello me and my boyfriend dated for 3 years and he broke up with me because he said he lost interest and that I was thinking about the future to soon. I want to get him back and I haven’t talked to him in 2 weeks. He is coming next week to get his stuff from our house should I apologize for not being affectionate enough and talking about long term too soon or do I say nothing?

  7. Kimberly

    Sorry for not telling you the whole story first.
    We are in a relationship for 4 months. We meet almost everyday including weekends. and then suddenly he lost interest and cancel plans and he was not willing to meet me for two weeks. But then he had a discussion and he admitted he lost interest but still loves me. He travelled after that and got back in town on Monday haven’t got a chance to meet yet. I let him contact me first all the time these days. Thats why he asked me why I didn’t text him yesterday and told me he is sick. With this background story could you please suggest if i should start to show how much i care about him or still give him more space.

  8. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Wow I’m so confused about your question. You love him but haven’t met him? You just text and call and maybe you over did it. But he told you he didn’t want to see you for two weeks – that’s why I’m confused about if you’ve gone on dates or not. Any way, when a man pushes you away, the only thing to do is NOTHING. So no, do not text him tomorrow asking if he’s better. He can’t have it both ways – push you away and then complain you didn’t even text. Texting and phone calls are not a true relationship. You need to go on dates and spend time with him face-to-face.

    No man likes to be smothered. So in the future I recommend letting the man initiate for at least the first 4-6 dates. Then use a 3 to 1 ratio to hold back and avoid smothering. So he contacts you 3 times for the one time you reach out. And avoid a lot of texting calling before meeting – taht’s a huge waste of time and gets you warpped up with a man you may never meet – happens all the time!

  9. Kimberly

    He lost interest in me and he admitted it and didn’t even want to see me for 2 weeks ( I bet I was smothering him) But he said he still loves me cares about me. Now I give him space and only reply when he texts/calls. Today he called me and said why I didn’t even text him. Also told me he got sick. Please suggest what should I do? Can I text/call him first tomorrow by asking if he is getting better or just stand my ground and wait for him to contact me first? I love him so much and want to meet him so bad. But I do not want to push him away by caring too much, Please help me.

  10. Ronnie Ann Ryan Post author

    Hi Narges,
    Your only hope in this case is to stop saying you can’t help it. Of course you can help it! Stop texting and leave him alone. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Give him a chance to miss you. If giving him space doesn’t work, you haven’t lost anything because it shows he’s not interested any more. When a man loses interest, besides pulling back to make room for him to come forward, there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

    In the future, give men space. If you overwhelm them with too much communication, I’m so sorry to say there’s just no way to recapture the romance. A man who is turned off is gone.

  11. Narges Mohm

    Four months ago, I met a guy and things were going great, he was soooo interested and invested and now that I have fallen in love with him, he is not showing much interest anymore and I feel like he needs space. I really want him back, what do I do? I am trying to pull back a little bit now but I just can’t help myself texting him first. Any tips ladies?

  12. jennifer

    honestly,i feel so happy reading all of your suggestions.i am gonna pull back for a while and make my guy chase me again

  13. Kassie

    Sometimes all you have to do is back off and let him do his thing, but never let him to far away because he might just slip away. If you back off he will probably step up and start acting the way you want him to. Also don’t forget communication is so important, my guy tells me all the time ” how are we going to work this out if you don’t talk to me?!” so never forget to communicate and even if you don’t wanna back off a little!
    ~ Kassie ~

  14. GIA

    Nearly a year ago, I met a man who has been supportive and always there for me with current personal issues in my life. We share many common interests and values. Although he is more shy than most men, there was an instant connection between us and we became great friends. He began opening up to me and in no time we began finishing eachother’s sentences, laughed at eachother’s jokes, talked on serious levels as well as have fun with one another. Unfortunately, altho we stil talk on a regular basis, he seems to have withdrawn to the way he was before we became better friends. If I think he’s busy I ask if I should leave but his answer is always no and that I need to stop worrying so much. So, he still likes having me around, yet, doesnt talk as much and seems distant in his answers. This made me start doubting him and ask if there was someone else he has more interest in. Again, his answer is no. He’s never made me doubt him and has no reason to lie where as we are not actually in a committed relationship, even tho I would like to be more than “just friends” in the future. However, I’m afraid that this reaction from me has made me appear “clingy” and “needy” and wonder if I’ve lost any chance of that happening now? More recently, I’m trying to be more independent, confident happy around him. I’ve also been giving him alittle more space. He seems happier, but I’m not sure how much time this needs to help win his attention back or has my behavior caused me to remain in the “friends” status forever? Please advise, as any insight would be much useful and appreciated. Thank you.

  15. CMichelle

    Hi, I thought this information is helpful. I’d been thinking I should pull back, only because I felt I was crowding my friend. I will give this a shot, only because it makes sense. He was interested in the beginning because I did not go out of my way to make time for him…perhaps, I need to go back to my original self. Good luck ladies!

  16. Brenda

    I agree with Ronnie’s suggestions – pulling back is especially good. If they are interested, they will step it up and if not, *well, then you know!*

    And when they just maintain that difference, it’s time to go n*e*x*t. Any man truly interested in you would not be moving apart, at least for any length of time.


  17. Elaine

    I hear you! I have not had a relationship for several years, although I was open to the idea. I moved to a different state and met someone shortly thereafter. This individual recently lost their spouse. I enjoy the company but not much time is devoted to the new relationship as my friend’s spouse died less than a year ago. I know that at times I wonder if I’m crowding a bit but when I ask (I try to be as direct as possible), I’m told all my efforts are appreciated. I wish I had a handbook.

  18. Ronnie Post author

    Hi Elaine,
    Dating a widower can be a touchy thing, especially if the man isn’t over his loss. It’s great that you are direct and ask the question about doing too much.

    If you are worried about crowding him, cut back on how much time you spend together. Then watch to see if he uses that space for himself or comes forward to spend more time with you. It’s not a manipulative test. The purpose is really to give him the space to do what is best for him without pressure.

    And if he doesn’t come forward to spend more time with you, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy your company. It might just mean he does need more alone time for healing.

    Best of luck with your love!

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