Dating After Divorce: When Will I be Stale on Match.com?

The other day my client Cheryl asked me if after a year on Match, was she now considered stale?

I thought this was a fascinating question. How long does it take before you should switch sites to be considered new again?  I responded by asking a few questions:

Was her profile still getting viewed?
Was she still getting email from men?
Had she been making an changes or updates to her profile?
Was she sick of the whole thing and thinking she needed a break for emotional reasons

Cheryl answered yes to the first three and no to the fourth. Well then, she’s not stale is she?

So here 4 tips to  ensure your profile keeps working for you and continues to attract men.

1) Change something small every week or two. This will help to keep you at the top of the list and make the algorithms think your profile is new.

2) When you get your photos taken, don’t post them all. You only need  two or three up at a time, a head shot, a full-body shot and something else. Save those others so you can change pictures as time moves on. For example, if your hit rate slows down – new pictures could beef things up again.

3) Change your headline. Try something wacky, catchy or unusual. Pick a couple of adjectives and put them together in unlikely combinations. Something like Dancing Kayaker, Red-Headed N Green-Minded, Easy-Going Golfer…

4) Recently, I was listening to a podcast about Internet dating and the suggestion was made to change sites every month to stay fresh. That’s a bit excessive. But you may want to change after two or three months. Or you could add a site if your profile traffic slows a lot. For monetary reasons, you can always hide your profile for a while if it’s cheaper to pay for the long haul.

On the other hand, if you are unsatisfied with your results and tired of the process, then maybe it’s time to take a break. But not too long. Time off can help you shift your mind set and renew your willingness to keep going. Too much time off can get to be a habit. If you need to cool it for a month or two, why not? But as time marches on, it becomes harder and harder to break non-dating inertia. You may slip back into old habits and attitudes that you worked hard to break free of.

A short breather will energize you and allow you to relax before returning to meeting new people. If this sounds like something you need – go ahead and take a break.  Try some other methods like speed dating or singles dances. Or take a complete break. Just keep your sites on your goal of finding love and remember, Mr. Right isn’t likely to knock on your door. You’ll need to cross his path to find him, so staying active is key to successful dating.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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