With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, thoughts about finding a sweetheart pop into almost every single woman’s mind. As a dating coach, so many clients ask me where the best places are to meet men. Surprisingly, this is often not the first step on the road to finding love. I gingerly explain that while it may seem like knowing the hot spots is the answer to their single circumstance, that may not be the whole truth.
There is a step before meeting prospects that is actually more important. The question becomes not where to meet new men, but instead – WHO are you when you meet them?
In other words, what is your attitude and mindset when you look for love? Too frequently women go out with the scars of past hurt and ex lovers written all over them. Perhaps you’ve had a run of bad dates or you haven’t been out in years. If that’s true, there are three basic areas that could use attention to be the most attractive you can be.
1) Are You Emotionally Available?
When you carry a torch for a lost love, or remain angry from love gone wrong, this drags your energy and attitude down. You cannot be your most alluring when carrying baggage. Here are a few ways to check that baggage and free yourself up for a new relationship:
– Light a candle and say a prayer. Asking for help from a higher power can be such a blessing and support for releasing history. Ask to let go of what no longer serves you and sever any remaining emotional ties.
– Visualize removing any imaginary strings of attachment that might still be connecting you to a past love. Watch these strings dissolve or cut yourself loose. Then imagine healing the places on your body where the attachments occurred.
– Take advantage of traditional therapy to facilitate the letting go process. Another approach is to work with an energy healer (Reiki, aromatherapy, etc.) to release a past love.
2) Do You See Yourself as Someone Who Dates?
A woman who dates sees herself as attractive to the opposite sex. She feels confident that she’ll be noticed and comfortable when approached by men. Her wardrobe includes alluring clothes that help her look and feel her best. What’s in your closet and how would you respond if a man walked over to strike up a conversation? If you’ve got a few good outfits and handle attention well, you’re all set.
3) Can You Flirt with Style and Enjoy it for What it Is?
Flirting is an art that can be easily learned. Basic elements include, brief eye-contact, followed by a smile, before gracefully looking away. Using this simple tip can change your social karma dramatically. Clients who have tried this were thrilled with the results! Why? Because many women have forgotten the fundamentals of simply being friendly.
Maybe it’s all the bad news on TV or perhaps people are just too busy to bother being friendly. Whatever the reason, when you catch a man’s eye, smile and act friendly, you in essence let him know you are safe to approach. Believe it or not, most men don’t like being rejected.
Most of all, the point of flirting is to have fun! When you smile at a man, you acknowledge him and that makes you both feel good. It’s flattering and who doesn’t enjoy a little flattery? Flirting works best without an agenda because then you’re relaxed and having fun. If you’re trying to get someone’s attention, your efforts aren’t likely to seem natural.
During February, the month dedicated to love, why not take stock of these three areas and put them to work for you? If you’re emotionally available, think of yourself as an alluring woman (and do something to make it so) and know how to flirt, you’re ready to find love. Get out there to connect with the countless fabulous men who are waiting to meet a wonderful woman like you.