Dating Over 40: 8 Love Lessons for Hanukah – Lesson #6

This is day six of the 8 Love Lessons for Hanukah. The series leverages the miraculous energy of the holiday to shed light on your love life, with eight simple lessons to attract love . Two more love lessons follow today’s so stop by to discover the last two gifts!

Love Lesson #6 – Get Real, Manage Your Expectations About Dating Events

Picking up from yesterday’s lesson, the second area for managing expectations is your mental attitude toward each attempt you make to meet men. My client Lucy spent the day preparing for a singles party. She got her hair cut and colored, had her nails done, bought a new out fit, and of course had to get a baby sitter to watch her young son. This lady was pumped up!

 When she arrived at the event, within the first minute her anger kicked up as she looked over the crowd and decided none of them were for her and everyone was too old. She left in a huge huff after just 15 minutes and went home vowing to never do that again.
 
Now let me ask you – is this productive? No!
 
If you want to get dolled up for an event – go ahead! Just don’t think it’s a guarantee. In other words, when you expect to meet the man of your dreams at one particular event, that is totally unrealistic and  sure to leave you highly disappointed.
 
Looking at this situation more closely, consider this — what if Lucy didn’t like what she saw but decided to stay for 30-45 minutes since she was already there? 
 
Lucy might have met a few nice women. She might have met a few interesting men who even though not in her datable age range, made her laugh and built her ego. And taking things to the next step, some of those older people might have had single sons, neighbors, nephews that they could have introduced her too.
 
I’m not suggesting you lower your expectations. I’m asking you to "Get Real" as Dr. Phil would say. Give yourself, the men and the events you attend a chance by relaxing a bit and managing your expectations. 
 
I promise and know first hand, it’s worth the effort. That’s how I met my husband. My friend Carol invited me to meet her at a outdoor patio bar during the summer. When I arrived, she was there with six other women. I was furious! After all, you can’t meet men when you’re with a pack of females. But I calmed myself down and decided to make the most of the evening.
 
I started talking to this woman Maureen and we really hit it off. After just 20 minutes, Maureen said to me, "Are you seeing anyone? Because I think my brother would love you." And when everything was said and done – she was right because I’m now married to her brother.

Lighten up a little will ya? How apropos for Hanukah!  You can find more about managing expectations and enthusiasm in Chapter 22 of Manifesting Mr. Right.

More in store tomorrow — Love Lesson #7 — see you then!
Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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