Dating Over 40: 8 Love Lessons for Hanukah – Lesson #5

 

This is day five of the 8 Love Lessons for Hanukah. The series leverages the miraculous energy of the holiday to shed light on your love life, with eight simple lessons to attract love . You’ll find a new love lesson each day for a total of eight days so stop by to discover every single gift!

 

Love Lesson #5 – Get Real, Manage Your Expectations About Men

 
Managing your expectations about dating is crucial to your success and happiness.  This is particularly true regarding your expectations about men.  Are you realistic about what you expect from a man? Recently I had a client share her  list of "extreme" criteria which made me realize she really didn’t want a man. After all – they’re only human, and …so are women.
 
This becomes very important when you go out to meet men and no one measures up. If you never meet anyone interesting, one of two reasons probably come into play:
 
1) You aren’t meeting enough men or aren’t doing much to meet men
2) You’re judging them too quickly and aren’t allowing yourself to get to know them.
 
Refer back to Love Lesson #4 for the first reason.

If you tend to judge them too quickly, here’s a novel suggestion. What if you approached getting to know men as if they were just people? Every person has a story and if you were a newspaper reporter, you’d find a way to extract it. Your curiosity would create an interesting exchange so that you could draw out their story in order to retell it. See what a different this could make in your conversations?

Believe it or not, men are people too. When you stop holding them up to extreme standards and actually get to know them, you are much more likely to find a special diamond in the rough. Otherwise, you’ll skip over these gems as if they were unworthy pebbles on the beach. And, that my friend, is your loss.
 
Give men a chance. Quality men can be a bit more reserved at first, but will come out of their shell when you give them the opportunity. Be gracious. Be curious. Be friendly. Be adventurous. Be open to getting to know men.
 
More in store tomorrow – look for Love Lesson #6

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