Has anyone ever read David DeAngelo’s dating e-newsletter? I have found it to be a rich resource for discovering what this male-oriented dating expert thinks men should do to capture a woman’s attention. It Gives me the flip-side peak into how men think.
In his most recent email, David claims that after a man asks for and gets your phone number of email, he should make a quick exit stage left to build some tension, curiosity and leave with an air of mystery. After all, a man in demand, a guy who has places to go and people to see, is more attractive than someone with idle time on his hands.
Well, what’s good for the goose is for the gander or is it the other way around?
In any case, I think this very same advice works for women as well. That’s why I’m all in favor of short first meetings. While some experts claim coffee dates are not romantic, I say it depends on where, what time, who you are and how you handle yourself. Bit still, the point is, don’t let a coffee date, roll into a dinner date, and into a night cap date. Oh No.
Why? Because this dramatizes that you have nothing else to do and your schedule is wide open. So much of your initial attraction is not about what you say but instead about body language, non-verbal cues and reading between the lines. Hence, lingering, no matter how much you may bat your eyelashes, is not that attractive. Being a little less available is far more appealing.
Oh, I know – you don’t want to play games. But dating is a game. Not an ugly one of manipulation, but one of presentation and positioning. It’s about making a good impression. And the best impression leaves him wanting more – just as David DeAngelo says that women want.
That’s because what is readily available is not ever as desirable as what is just out of reach. Women complain all the time about guys who are too nice and around too much. This the very same concept!
The point is, to maximize your Attraction in Action, quit dragging out your first dates. Have a nice time for an hour or 90 minutes, flirt your butt off, then high tail it out of there and leave him wanting MORE. If you tell him all your cute stories in one night, what will you talk about next time? Leave some mystery and let him wonder where you’re off to. Give him something to chase and if he’s interested, he will most definitely follow the trail.