Dating Over 40: Love Emails from Indiana

Cyndi an East Coast woman, was bothered that she received several emails on match from guys who lived all over the country – like Indiana, Arizona and Alabama professing love.  How can this be?  And more importantly what is this about?

1) First off, who can really understand the mind of another, so face it, these are educated guesses
2) Maybe they thought she was cute, good looking, a hot babe – so take it as flattery.  It’s certainly confirmation that  Cyndi is attractive regardless of who the men are and if she likes them
3) Perhaps the men were simply avoiding work by trolling on match.com
4) It’s easier & safer to write to women far away because the likelihood of meeting is slim i.e. less rejection
5) Some men want fantasy pen pals for a steamy virtual relationship – either they are married and this way aren’t really cheating or maybe they have intimacy issues so this solves that problem as well
6) Could be these fellow send the same love letter to every woman they like
7) Who knows, some of them could actually be writing in earnest

You get the picture.  My point is don’t get your panties in a bunch about who these guys are and why they are professing love to you.  If you want to dismiss them all – fine!  But remember – no matter what you think of the men, it is still proof positive that you are attractive – take it as flattery and then move on to find more appropriate prospects who are geographically desirable or other qualities that you’re seeking.

Same goes for men who are too young, too old, uneducated, uncouth, unpleasant, or anything else that causes you to reject them as potential partners.  So what!  Of course you will encounter all kinds on the Internet.  That’s because there are literally millions of people on these web dating sites. And that’s actually a good thing!

After all, you want lots of selection and choices. Some you’ll reject, some you’ll need to get to know, some you may fall for.  The Internet is a tool to help connect you to other singles.  Many of them won’t be right for you.  But there will be a few who are. This is completely normal and to be expected.  

So the next time a guy writes to you that you don’t like or isn’t from your neighborhood, smile to yourself that someone thinks you’re attractive, say thank you to the Universe and move on to find the right man for you.

PS – I do know a couple of met from a long distance email relationship.  Drew happened upon Leslie’s web site. She’s an artist from London. He’s an art lover from Goldens Bridge, NY.  He wrote to her, they emailed back and forth.  And then back and forth a lot more.  Then he wanted to visit so he flew over.  Then more back and forth and now married.  So it does happen.  Not every long distance email is a waste of time.  It’s your job to sort through and find out.  Let that be the fun part.

Single for too long, Ronnie wanted to find love. So, she made a few tweaks and then dated 30 men in 15 months to meet her adorable husband Paul. Discovering the keys to midlife dating, she founded It’s Never Too Late for Love to help other smart, successful women find love too! Her mission is to share her proven dating advice  and keen insights about men with women everywhere who are serious about finding love with the right man. Ronnie Ann Ryan, MBA, CCC is a Certified Coach who has helped 1,000’s of midlife women with her Love & Dating Coach services. She’s been featured on BBC’s 5 Live Radio, NBC, ABC, and Fox News, NPR, eHarmony, MSN.com, MORE.com, Connecticut Magazine among others around the world. An established author, you can find her 6 books on Amazon.

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